Doesn't Mean Anything
I wanted to cry out loud
And I couldn't
I was trapped in those small four-walls room
With no one, nothing
My hands are trembled
The sad horrifying score was playing on
Sounds I couldn't resist and terrible images went on
Home had been so far away
No one could hear me as I'm alone
I'm so sorry I let you down
Tears couldn't stream down my pale face
As I held them back
Instead I put a smile one
I wanted to tell you everything but I couldn't
You fought so hard to believe in me
These silver lining would ruin everything
That you and I built so long ago
No one could hear me as I'm alone
I'm so sorry I let you down
Labels: destruction, Life, poetry
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
5:00 PM
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I Write Sins Not Tragedies
I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" - Panic! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Simply said, but the whole things can be cleared
So many people who consider us subordinate and darkened
They suddenly knock us off by telling us "Yeah, I know" or "what is wrong with you?"
No you don't, you won't.
Look at them in the eye and said that you're not fine, everybody isn't fine
How shallow other people
Just leave us like a caveman
It might take a hundred years
Leave us and we will talk until we're ready
Don't act like you know everything that happened before our eyes
People have no idea what we've been through
So close the goddamn door, mind your own businesses and shut your eyes
Labels: Lyrics, poetry, Quote
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
11:22 PM
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Hearing Damage
Thru all the mankind ever existedWe shall be grateful of what are weI, one of them, indeedI, listen carefully, walks by slowlyThru all the mankind ever livedSome of you speak, shout, yell, and protestYour kind amongst us, be itHave no idea , you think run bestLet there be only your two lips and one earLet mine live normallyPray for your hearing damage, dearYou shall let me view you, constantlyMy existence, your problemGhosts of your memoryMy painless hours happened without themRemains as bruises, you can unsee meLabels: poetry
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
11:23 AM
1 COMMENTs {pick me, choose me, love me!}
Nobody Knows
Money. Fame. Smile. Fake. Dream. Hope. Lose. Relation. Problem. Shine. Fall. Happiness. Falter. Strength. Weakness. Far. Devastated. Slim. Shout. Glow. Wish. Victory. Humiliation. Scar. Heart. Feel. Fraud. Burden. Inferiority. Star. Hatred. Identity. Dreadful. Sin. Calm. Care. Scream. Love.Nobody KnowsA hundred faces at a timeNobody KnowsHow it would leave a scarNobody Knows It'll let us shineNobody KnowsWhat wishes and dreams turn into Nobody KnowsLabels: Life, poetry, thoughts
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
12:27 AM
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You're Not Sorry
Just so you knowI've always wanted to be grateful for every single thingfor every momentfor every hoursfor every people who passes byfor every chances to fightfor every songs I've listenedfor every pain that couldn't subsidefor every words I wrote and readfor every disappointment left for mefor tears I have to wipefor every little piece of happiness you won't let me havefor every sheep I count in my sleepfor every shelter I count onfor every shows that I've watchedfor lessons I've learned
for second opinion
But just so you knowyou succeed to make me a failureand even for a sec I am haunted by You always come around You told me I have to be happy but you do it vice versa to yourselfThank you for making me just the way I am supposed to beand you're not sorry for what you did
How could I believe you then?
Dedicated to:
people who lose their hope and just want to give up
people who believe they will falter
people who can't even take a glimpse look at the mirror
just to see themselves smile
me
Labels: Life, poetry, thoughts
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
8:27 PM
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Save Me
This is the night When I should look at the computer and start doing my jobThis is a night I am thinking how a line has connected us I thought you make my life miserableAnd you might think I'm a mess myselfI used to think you are betterI used to think I could save youYou are a pain in the assThe one that makes it deterioratesI am sorry you're differentI am sorry you don't comprehendI am a wacky and uncontrollable I am a heroine of my own versionI am still have to please youI might notI have a little faithOf what I have done beforeand you've got to understandbecause I am wacky kind of geniusThese ties abandoned me for times I don't knowI am longing for a releaseWould someone save meand make me any better?
Until they subside
I'd bring just a piece of happiness myself
I believe that angels sent me you
But I just haven't understood how you could be so cunning
Labels: Life, poetry, thoughts
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
11:49 PM
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A Storm Is Going To Come
Cuman kangen sama INI:
sejak tidak ada dia, aku menjadi merasa lebih tidak berguna dari sebelumnya
sejak tidak ada dia aku semakin pelupa
sejak tidak ada dia, buyarlah semua konsentrasi dan harga diri
sejak tidak ada dia, kekecewaan-kekecewaan orang lain pada diriku semakin bertambah
Tidak ada satu hari pun tanpa aku merindukan kehadirannya
Tidak ada satu hari pun aku mengingat masa indah bersamanya
Aku lebih dari sekedar butuh, tapi dia adalah sebagian hidupku
dan sejak saat itu hidup terasa jauh lebih melelahkan untuk dijalani
Dengan caraku sendiri, aku hanya bisa mengingat dia
Dia bukan sekedar barang, dia kasih sayang dari orang tua
Dia bukan sekedar bongkahan seperti batu bata, dia lullaby sebelum aku tidur
Dia bukan sekedar alat komunikasi, dia membantuku bernyanyi dan membangunkanku sebelum sekolah
Dia adalah dia
Dan dia menghilang sebelum aku sempat lelah bersamanya dan berkata selamat tinggal
Labels: Life, poetry, thoughts
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
3:55 PM
6 COMMENTs {pick me, choose me, love me!}
She Works Hard For The Money
Just because I don't have Bold, it doesn't mean that I am not boldJust because there are no money left, it doesn't make me a leftoverI fall apart but don't leave me behindI said I get over it, but I can't seem to get rid of itThey wore well outfits, classy bags and fine shoesI just have trashy ones, and I can't barely walk with my own shoesI am poorly educated as my brain cannot do well for lessonsBut I will have to be great, because I later have to workMillions money they have spent seemed worthless and kinda funYet I don't have money to buy another And yes father blamed me for what another has done to meTherefore I am worthless and funnyWhen I said I need four years time to be doneIt is because it isn't enough for meThe day after tomorrow, I have to earn money and get another lessonsSo tomorrow I have to be done
Where were you when everything is falling apart?
Trust me it's like losing so much blood and B.P. is dropping
So all we wait is for another one straight line and no beeping in the monitor
Another numbered days you insist me to count
But I just don't want to lay there for now
Another year means that I am blessedBut this year has no good startBut this year ain't over yetI want to believe it does me any good on the second partLabels: poetry, thoughts
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
8:40 AM
1 COMMENTs {pick me, choose me, love me!}
Now Or Never part II
IZZIE
And so I couldn't remember
my memories reset in fine minutes apart
then you sit, yell, astonished
when it might be all said and done
i woke up with smile
and passed out
painful yet beautiful at most
Do Not Resuscitate
don't ever bring me back
let me go
would you?
although i never thought
i could end up here
like this
I want to remember me
being so close with you
and knowing that you love me
so that is what really saved me
so i know you are the one who catches me
when i fall and surrender
knowing I give up doesn't mean I give myself up
knowing I give up doesn't mean I let you walk away
I wish I could choose you over death
I have wishes and hopes
that shapes me for who I am
when I'm with you
GEORGE
Here I am
Lay still and wait
I wanted to tell you this is me
A shadow for you as always
The one that follows you
not just in daylight
but the most darkest time in night
I wanted to tell you I changed
and I hope we'll be okay
I hope you guys are doing good
Pray for me
As I catch up
I may not feel so alone anymore
I am a doer
I do, and I believe I do better
Please identify so many times
when I shared my tears with you
when I held you close
when I chose you
when you had nothing but me
Love me and remember me
for what we have done together
everyday and every nights
feel me
when you let me go
When two worlds collide
Look me in the eyes
I know we have to survive these
So sacrifice these quiet times
I know what it means
when I'm watching you
place wings and fly away
but I know we're strong
we are doers
I know we don't quit
we are so gonna breathe again
slow and tender we go
it may not be hand in hand
but I am sure
at least
one of us
is surviving
and even if one of us is leaving
by no means
I know at least I know you're my best friend
I've heard you
You've heard me
we are one
Labels: Grey's Anatomy, poetry, TV Series
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
1:22 AM
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The Kindness of Strangers Part 1
The Art of Jack and Kate ~LOST~ Kate Centric
I remember when I first met you
You asked me if I could stitch your wound up
I was joking that
I could throw up on you and you laughed with me
You asked my name even if it's just for icebreaker
And you told me your name's Jack
Hey Jack, my name is Kate..
You were the first people
I knew On an island where we stranded on
Within months I tried to know the island
I tried to know you
As I was scared like everyone else did
you were comforting me
Eventhough you said some words on the opposite
You said that we are already dead
and no one will never find us
But as I learned, I felt I was in heaven
and though I still am afraid
I knew you are facing the same fears with me s
o then I am bold and fearless
One day, you went somewhere place
I am curious and I asked If I could come with you
You forbid me as I insisted on it T
hank you for letting me be safe
But I rather faced a scary outside as long as I'm not further away
I am the one who knew you
When people are lying they don't look me in the eyes
But you did the exact opposite
But the way you loved me
or perhaps the way I loved you
is facing a way too long distance
you were always by my side
but you're not even close
and then another came and
I was hoping I let you down
I know you are
I know you tried to let me be safe and warm
even If you're not with me anymore you push me away to him
Oh! The guilt
Since we were breaking apart
I know you hoped me for a better future
but what if I'm mistaken
what if it's all your ego
what if it wasn't me you tried to hold
So then again
We faced another separation
Now help me to let go all the pain
and the fact that it's too late
and we're way too far behind
I'm still not over you, Jack
I was hoping you said "because I love you" earlier
But I am glad you finally ease my doubt
Still, I wish we could take care for each other
Always, I wish you well
For better for worse
I have always been with you
Kate
Labels: LOST, love, poetry, TV Series
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
8:19 PM
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Come Back To Me
Holding onto memories
Which we each sums up
aren't we?
Just realized how far that was
and how far you all are
Just tasting every bites
and sounding each syllables
even if I should shed my tears
How I missed same old you
Honestly I don't remember you
Hardworking and striving
Tears and smile
You and me
You are the kingdom
and I am the queen
But when it all falls apart
we are just breaking down
I am as sneaky as I thought
and half dead as they wished
Where were you?
Where have you been?
You're not even close
This past 4 months
I miss yesteryears
Please remind me
When I worked through tears
when I just forgot the world
when I am ashamed and all I ever thought was you by my side
when friends mocked me
or forced me
or just lay there and lied to me
or bitchin' about me
about what I cannot do
YOU
Work
Study
Learn
Furious
Numb
Stronger
Fighter
Love
Compassion
Confidence
Thoughts
Bold
Drama Queen
I've been missing you
you are the perfect gun to shoot my fears
you are the shadows to follow me wherever I go
when I just doubt myself
Please Come Back To Me
You can unsee me
But honestly I couldn't live without YOU
Labels: Life, poetry, thoughts
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
11:00 PM
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I Will Follow You Into The Dark
I'm the one you'll love to HATE
Barusan mengecewakan semua pihak
Barusan iri dengan keberhasilan semu orang lain
Barusan bersikap tidak sabar
I'm the one you'll love to HATE
I have swallowed their words, indeed
For better and for worse
I have done something
which neither of us like
I'm the one you'll love to HATEI am murdered by neglect
I am dethroned in my own universe
And I took you to my deepest failure and worse mistake than before
I'm the one you'll love to HATEBecause I am me
And you are you
Labels: Life, poetry, thoughts
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
10:18 PM
1 COMMENTs {pick me, choose me, love me!}
If No One Will Listen
Taken from TERRAA Bilingual Anthology from Wordstrom, the NT Writers' FestivalMTC Cronin Fortune Telling (in song)How many dead bodies have unbroken life lines?Our own hands refuse to hold usThe journey across the palmis made in darknessThere is a gust of windin the palmA tree with manydying branchesThe song in our handsis a quiet oneWe sing and singand then there's silenceThough we sing we diewhen we shouldn'tLabels: Life, poetry
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
10:46 PM
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Blood, Sweat, and Tears
BLOOD-SWEAT-TEARS
It matters when you just one step ahead to reach the end
It happens when you are the last person live on earth
It matters if you fall and need someone to talk to
They are the things that leads us to the path we always belong to
They reminds us how vulnerable life is
They reminds us how we become death
They are the only thing to accompany our trembled hands
All of them is one thing certain that leads us to our pain, our happiness, our life.
JESS.19.12.2008
Labels: Life, poetry
"God love your soul and your aching bones.."
5:26 PM
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I am Me, with all my courage, ego, hope, and my own dream, together with all my life, heart, my mind, and fate.. Somehow, I'm surviving, which humanize me.. Because of all the trying and struggling, sometimes I fall and some days God lift me up... 
