Jess apparently needs vicodin

Break Up

2010-03-13T14:50:00.005+07:00

This is a completely utterly random thoughts which does not relate with any kind of real life.
But this is inspired by an acceptable beautiful story of other life, fictional case, other people, other place, different time, other story, another selves. I just made them a pretty words though.

Been up all night, listening to your voice
I feel it started to fade away
With any kind of possibility
Then you drift away

I'm thinking of you, solely
I don't ever want to forget you
The best part and your worst, only
I always want to miss you

My weary soul is aching
Your presence is all I ever need
There's nothing else I can't do
I just need to hear you sing

For a moment I thought you were there
Been calling up your name
Unanswered question brings me memories
Seeing your innocent eyes, my bliss

Your dreamy touch lingers
Songs you wrote left me unbroken
Love you gave shaped a smile
I wish you the best, I guess

One day I will see you
My heart stays missing you
Dear lover, I will let you go
But a part of me still adore you so

N.U.M.B.

2010-01-12T19:32:00.002+07:00

I just realized that:
George O'Malley died. He died.
He got hit by a bus. And he died.

You know, I feel as complicated as "I don't watch Korean dramas, don't ask me about them. Just ask me how George O'Malley died and how I felt about it."

I lied. I always thought that instead of "two is better than one", I think "one is better than two".

And if you ask me about that again. I'm gonna press charges.!

You Complete Me

2010-01-02T11:01:00.002+07:00

"You complete me"
is stated by either SOAB like Joker or family man like Jerry McGuirre. Trust me.

I'm Scared

2009-12-20T10:10:00.004+07:00

“Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes to simply be human. Maybe, we’re thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we’re thankful for the things we’ll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”

Meredith Grey

“There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back."

Lucas Scott

“Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can’t get any better, it can.”

Nicholas Sparks

Love of mine, someday you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

“The best gift I ever got was for Christmas when I was ten – my very first suture kit. I used it until my fingers bled, and then I tried to use it to stitch up my fingers. It put me on the path to becoming a surgeon. My point is sometimes the best gifts come in really surprising packages."

Meredith Grey

Doesn't Mean Anything

2009-12-09T17:00:00.002+07:00

I wanted to cry out loud
And I couldn't
I was trapped in those small four-walls room
With no one, nothing

My hands are trembled
The sad horrifying score was playing on
Sounds I couldn't resist and terrible images went on
Home had been so far away

No one could hear me as I'm alone
I'm so sorry I let you down

Tears couldn't stream down my pale face
As I held them back
Instead I put a smile one
I wanted to tell you everything but I couldn't

You fought so hard to believe in me
These silver lining would ruin everything
That you and I built so long ago

No one could hear me as I'm alone
I'm so sorry I let you down

Say Goodbye

2009-12-02T22:20:00.005+07:00

Dear blog,
I haven't spoken with you in such a long time
Particularly when I need someone or even something to talk about what happened in these past few months.
Frankly, I did change a lot.
I guess meet some people make me notice. I guess get in touch with them truly change how I am and how I react through even worse circumstances.
But now things are blurry again. I fell apart and no one seems to follow.

My parents used to think I'm 12 instead of 21.
Father convinced me that I have to get the best, but in order to get that far I have to do everything I could. Strangely he always thinks 'everything' includes in our comfort zone.
Mother, on the other hand, still consider that I'm a baby. So she heard everything father said and not giving another complaints.
It's just totally wrong!
I realized, we can't choose our parents. They are give to us as we are to them.
Nothing's gonna change that.
So blaming them and the whole clan is never gonna work.

You know, but lived far away from them got me thinking lot and a lot more.
I am me.
I actually matters to them a lot more than I think.
But it's my every own right and chances to do a lot more.
When they just told me not to do so.

You seriously won't believe my parents.
The idea of me working on television industry might be their worst, particularly in this country.
Where in here you might always be judged by your outer side.
So I'm asking how this would happen? Will I ready to cross some lines?

So many people laughed out loud like in front of my face when I told them I wanna work on television industries.
They might not understand how am I gonna survive. Or people just considered me as a dumb-ass who went to uni just to get a degree. Perhaps they think I was a lame chinese who wants to be an entertainer in her own country.
They thought I will do some marketing-sellings or being a Public Relations.
Which is not the path that I wanted.
They can't distinguish anyway. *I am so gonna slap them in the face!

I just want to rip off their ear by scream and say that I would've never thought of working on this country.
But I just don't want my parents to be upset that they cannot send me overseas and make me happy.
So I finally learned to let go of some cruel face I am not supposed to get.

Now I've been wondering those questions.
Am I even on the right track? Will I finally get what I fought for? Am I good enough?
I am not ready to say goodbye to future career. It seems so far away I cannot reach it.
I dropped so many tears to fight for it.
I am broken-hearted and nothing could fix it.

Dreams.
Does it even matter to you?
Does this even matter to me?
Do I matter to you?
I'm not ready if I lose all my dreams that I've build and I've dreamed at night.
I don't want to say goodbye.
But you're so vague I can't see you.
When I can't hold you in my hands,
when you are impossible to reach
when they won't agree with you and with me
when you are way too far, too devious, too painful,
it might be the right time to say,
let me let you go

If I seem distant
Baby I am
Words are like scissors in your hands
And there’s no script to follow
So I just close my eyes
That way it won’t hurt so much
When we say goodbye
-Katharine McPhee-

I Write Sins Not Tragedies

2009-11-19T23:22:00.005+07:00

I chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" - Panic! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies

Simply said, but the whole things can be cleared

So many people who consider us subordinate and darkened

They suddenly knock us off by telling us "Yeah, I know" or "what is wrong with you?"

No you don't, you won't.

Look at them in the eye and said that you're not fine, everybody isn't fine

How shallow other people

Just leave us like a caveman

It might take a hundred years

Leave us and we will talk until we're ready

Don't act like you know everything that happened before our eyes

People have no idea what we've been through

So close the goddamn door, mind your own businesses and shut your eyes

Misguided Ghosts

2009-11-12T22:42:00.003+07:00

Paramore - Misguided Ghosts

1, 2, 3, 4

I am going away for a while
I'll be back don't try and follow me
I'll return as soon as possible
See I'm tryin' to find my place
It might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistakes,

And run from them
From them
With no direction
We'll run from them
From them
With no conviction

I'm just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Don't need no roads
In fact they follow me
And we just go in circles

Now I'm told that this is life
Pain is just a simple compromise
So we can we get what we want out of it
Someone care to classify
Broken hearts and twisted minds
So i can find, someone to rely on,

And run to them
to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not
Useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there's no one road
We should not be the same
I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me
They echo me in circles.

2009-11-05T00:06:00.002+07:00

♥ Demi Lovato - World Of Chances ♥

You've got a face for a smile, you know.
A shame you waste it when you're breaking me slowly.
But I've got a world of chances, for you.
I've got a world of chances, for you.
I've got a world of chances, chances that you're burning through.

I've got a paper and pen.
I go to write a goodbye and that's when I know I've
got a world of chances for you.
I've got a world of chances, for you.
I've got a world of chances, chances that you're burning through.

Ohhh, I'm going my own way.
My faith has lost its strength again.
& Ohhhh, it's been too hard to say we've fallen off the edge again.
We're at the end.
We're at the end.

Maybe you'll call me someday.
Hear the operator say the numbers no good and that she had a world of chances for you.
She had a world of chances, for you.
She had a world of chances, chances you were burning through.
Chances you were burning through.
Chances you were burning through.

You've got a face for a smile, you know.

Come In With The Rain

2009-11-04T23:33:00.004+07:00

♥ Taylor Swift - Come In With The Rain ♥

I could go back to every laugh
But I don't want to go there anymore
And I know all the steps
Up to your door
But I don't want to go there anymore
Talk to the wind, talk to the sky, talk to the man with the reasons why
And let me know what you find

I'll leave my window open
Cause I'm to tired tonight to call your name
Just know im right here hoping
that you'll come in with the rain

I could stand up
And sing you a song
But I don't want to have to go that far
And I, I've got you down, I know you by heart
And you don't even know where I start
Talk to your self, Talk to the tears, talk to the man who put you here
And don't wait for the sky to clear

I've watched you so long, screamed your name
I don't know what else I can say

I'll leave my window open
Cause I'm to tired tonight for all these games
Just know I'm right here hoping
that you'll come in with the rain

I could go back to every laugh
But i don't want to go there anymore

In Another Life

2009-11-04T23:24:00.003+07:00

♥ The Veronicas - In Another Life ♥

I have known you my whole life
When you were ten, you said you'd make me your wife
Eight years later you won me over
Just as I took the world on my shoulders

I got used to living without you
Endless phone calls and dreaming about you
Always said that you were my man to be
But I guess I was in love with your memory

You know I love you, I really do
But I can't fight anymore for you
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again
Sometime, in another life
In another life

I know I said that I would keep my word
I wished that I could save you from the hurt
But things will never go back to how we were
I'm sorry I can't be your world

The way you're holding on to me
Makes me feel like I can't breathe
Just let me go, just let me go
It just won't feel right inside
God knows I've tried

In another life ...

Between The Lines

2009-11-04T23:12:00.004+07:00

♥ Sara Bareilles - Between The Lines ♥

Time to tell me the truth
To burden your mouth for what you say
No pieces of paper in the way
Cause i cant continue pretending to choose
The opposite sides on which we fall
The loving you laters if at all
No right minds could wrong be this many times

My memory is cruel
Im queen of attention to details
Defending intentions if he fails
Until now, he told me her name
It sounded familiar in a way
I could have sworn i'd heard him say it ten thousand times
If only i had been listening

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me
Always between the lines
Between the lines

I thought i thought i was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
And stand in the center of it all
Too late two choices to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
He'd already left with the other
So i've learned to listen through silence

I tell myself all the words he surely meant to say
I'll talk until the conversation doesn't stay on
Wait for me i'm almost ready
When he meant let go

Hearing Damage

2009-10-26T11:23:00.003+07:00

Thru all the mankind ever existed
We shall be grateful of what are we
I, one of them, indeed
I, listen carefully, walks by slowly

Thru all the mankind ever lived
Some of you speak, shout, yell, and protest
Your kind amongst us, be it
Have no idea , you think run best

Let there be only your two lips and one ear
Let mine live normally
Pray for your hearing damage, dear
You shall let me view you, constantly

My existence, your problem
Ghosts of your memory
My painless hours happened without them
Remains as bruises, you can unsee me

Turn and Face The Strange

2009-08-29T18:46:00.002+07:00

Sew me up
Tell me I'm a doer
Let me put my head upon your shoulder
so I can cry on when I fall

Fix me
I have a bigger scar than it looks
Bruises may subside
But ten years gone and it remains

If I am weak
If I unsee small little strentgh that left on me
How can I be against?

I know you don't know me at all
Because I certainly don't either
I surrender to autism
I feel world won't care
So I don't

Let's go to a better time
Where human may eat and drink without killing each other
Effortlessly be the change we want
By turning ourselves and facing the strange
Seems like a million years later
not in earth

Human

2009-08-25T00:53:00.001+07:00

I hate that I'm the member of phlegmatic clan
Because somehow I chose not to survive although there are million chances passed me by

The best thing about me
I always make sure if everyone feels happy
That's why some people do get me wrong

Sometimes we shouldn't be ourselves
we are way far from excellence
we have to pass boundaries
Someday we must not sit and wait for somebody to come and save us

We are slaving
We will be creatures we can depend on
We search for stars in a dark night
We are blind in a starry, starry night

No one ever wonder being struck by lightning
We will suffered and flashes will come before our eyes
And life will be remained in a blink of an eye
God demanded our soul free of sins
Until then we just keep on breathing
But we live like a rats wait until our time comes
Human human

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Two Worlds Collide

2009-08-23T21:26:00.003+07:00

Why is there any religion?
That would put up differences
Why does it exist?
If that would tear people apart?

Why did God create such a diverse kind of people?
If someday people would just dislike someone just because she's not a kind of person
other people like him to be

That's why love exists
Is it love who happened to be
the only way
to hold two people arms
to unbroken wine glass that have been thrown
to create such a beautiful songs
or a love letter from time to time

Love unite people
Love supposed to have no boundaries
Love supposed to be easy
But we, people somehow make it difficult
Because we think we are blind and others are handicapped
Or we think we equals God and we hoped to received the best serves
in order to save ourselves from what we called pride

We might fall into a deep black hole
and not make a way back
We choose not to survive
and pretend we are lame
Others would have to kill us
in order to get themselves safe

That's why
Love
always is the hardest thing to say
the most difficult term
a simple word that has lot of meanings
Word that has no translation to cold hearts
Although it could attached two worlds collide
and melt the ice
or warmed the weather
Love interprets two different language
of two different worlds collide

INSPIRATION BY ~ CIN(T)A The Movie

Don't Stop Believing

2009-08-12T00:05:00.003+07:00

I closed my eyes
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Five....
I open my eyes
Everything is alright

I walk then I run
I build, I don't want to break
I wish I could be cardio-god
I will never break any hearts

A white small unicorn came
It is beautiful, nothing compares to it
We questioned, is it even real?
I guess we'll never know

All the battle that I've won
So strange I felt
I swung a sword and let them die
Did evil tease me then?

Mary once had particular reason she was chosen
Jesus born and we are saved
Do we choose to be saved?
Do we believe?

I listened to a sweet symphony
It sabotaged half of my world
I suffers autism
I cannot be touched

I believe I live
I won't stop believe
But every time people lie
My promise and hope just happened to die

Walking On Snow

2009-08-10T00:16:00.002+07:00

It's like I walk on snow
with my bare feet
my soul is cold
my hands are trembled

I am walking on snow and the wind accompany me
A piece of paper flew over my head
It tells me a lot of story
History that couldn't be repeated

It does all of the talking, and I just listened
to the sound of heavy wind
to the beat of my heart
my hands hold the paper, afraid it might fall down

I am walking on cold as if I'm fearless
Wind covers my voice within
So loud, then I couldn't recognize it
I am clueless, don't know how to think

When will I see sun that shines?
When will I move my own frozen body?
When will I hope there is another way to walk out?
May I choose warmer season?
When will I see a light to guide me home?
I miss something bright and shiny
Until then, I just keep walking on snow

Drowning On Dry Land

2009-08-09T19:09:00.001+07:00

How many times did I say sorry? It seems like the meaning of the words just disappear.. Like flashes before my eyes. All memories suddenly forced my eyes darkened and swollen.. I miss a candy bar that has thousands colours to put a smile upon my face.. But scarcity finished the endings. Although happiness supposed to land on rainbow with no end..
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Forever and Always

2009-07-30T07:56:00.001+07:00

You put me through this situation
It brings back the worst memory
The one that keeps me cry
In the middle of the night

As I said before I was haunted
I learned not to remember it
The one that made my dream
Woke me up early morning, in sorrow

But now
I took a deep breath
As I feel blessed
Because everything I've had
It is You who made me learned
How to fight every seconds
Live everyday like my last day
Because Your bless rains on me

I asked You everything in my prayer
Every situations I want to feel,learn,and see
I know You,Lord,be with me every seconds
Forever and always the angels never let me fall down

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

What a Feeling

2009-07-28T22:51:00.001+07:00

Now one year has gone
Same old feeling still remains
The anguish
The fear

Sometimes I know I can be better
But I am humanized by fear itself
The one that always brings me back one step backward
I know it kills

But to have faith
In something that I knew nothing about is just way bigger effort
I want to be thankful
But sometimes lonesome cover it up
I miss the optimistic
That once again flew away from myself
#END

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Wanna Be Startin' Something

2009-07-22T21:32:00.002+07:00

Kapan yah bisa sekolah film?
Kapan yah bisa jadi sutradara film?
Kapan yah bisa jadi penulis naskah film?
Kapan yah bisa jadi sutradara video klip?
Kapan yah bisa jadi interpreter?
Kapan yah bisa jadi editor in chief?
Kapan yah bisa jadi Creative Director?
Kapan yah bisa jadi stage director?
Kapan yah bisa menerima Oscar?
Kapan yah masuk nominasi Emmy Awards?
Kapan yah masuk di asosiasi WGA?

Tomorrow

2009-07-22T12:39:00.002+07:00

Wah, sudah mendekati hari-hari keberangkatan ke Jakarta. 3 hari lagi saya akan bekerja magang selama 3 bulan. I guess it's pretty funny karena saya seperti tidak ada semangat untuk berangkat. Mungkin mengingat bahwa bekerja di lingkungan yang bukan saya tinggali seperti biasanya membuat saya lebih gugup. Saya pernah merasakan hal ini satu tahun lalu. Berbeda dengan semangat dan senyum yang saya berikan tahun lalu, saya merasa sedikit lebih hampa dan gugup di tahun ini. Sebab banyak hal-hal yang masih belum pasti, lingkungan yang sama sekali baru, saya pun tidak akan tinggal di rumah saudara lagi. Saya ngekos, hal yang pertama kali saya lakukan selama 21 tahun hidup.

Persiapan yang kurang juga menambah rasa tidak siap. Terlebih lagi bayangan yang lalu berkelebat di benak saya. Yang lebih parah, lebih banyak saya bayangkan kegagalan-kegagalannya. Mulai dari ketidakberhasilan mewawancarai narasumber yang kurang nyambung dalam menjawab hingga menumpahkan gelas berisi air di meja makan institut milik Akbar Tandjung. Aduh, tampaknya seperti Betty Suarez kedua, versi sedikit lebih gagal dan lebih pesimis. Wah, taun ini saya harus bertindak minimal seperti Betty. Saya tidak perlu mundur karena walaupun tidak semampu orang lain dalam beberapa hal, saya bukan menjadi orang yang pesimis dan tolol menangisi keadaan seperti yang biasa lakukan.

Lalu saya pun teringat perkataan Amanda, rekan Betty yang blonde dan cantik sayangnya sedikit bloon. Amanda akhirnya mengaku pada Betty bahwa ia iri pada Betty. Semua orang mencintai Betty karena dia Betty. Sementara Amanda sering dipilih karena ia cantik. Selebihnya ia bukan siapa-siapa. Memang saya harus selalu mengingat kasus Amanda ini. Karena setelah Amanda berkata begitu, saya pun otomatis ngomong bahwa "kasian ya yang kaya, cantik, langsing, populer.Karena beberapa dari mereka tentu lebih dipilih tapi lebih karena mereka itu punya sifat2 di atas (ya walau tidak semua yg seperfect itu hatinya buruk sih)... Jadi bahagia saja menjadi orang yang pas-pasan dalam banyak hal. " Saya juga menunggu banyak berkat dan kejutan Tuhan karena saya saat ini mencoba untuk sabar. Saya mencoba untuk menjalani semuanya dengan tanpa prasangka buruk bahwa semua yang telah saya kerjakan dan saya bangun dengan susah payah akan hancur sebelum waktunya. Hanya karena ada orang lain yang jauh lebih percaya diri memanfaatkan kesempatan mereka lebih keras dari saya.

Insensitive

2009-07-11T21:31:00.003+07:00

You know in this particular holiday, people keep complaining about how bad the food is, how they got a fever during trip, how ugly the hotel looks, how the waitress' don't serve them well, why the planes are delayed, how they couldn't stand the look of the bathroom, how hot/cold the weather is, how their weights move to right a little bit, how heavy the luggages are, why is the city to crowd, how they wait too long, and hell of other stuffs I don't wanna hear.

You know what sucked the most? I've been having this typhoid fever just two weeks before my 21st birthday. And just right 1.5 months before slaving in one of the most developed national television. Damn! They have no rights complaining about all of those. OMG, typical Wilhelmina Slater. Or should I say Fey Sommers?

You have it all. So, instead of cursing and complaining enjoy the freakin' happy time! It occurs to me that I have to crash in the hospital for about a week and my mother and father spending a lot of money and energy for me. Not a good sign. Because I still need to buy a cellphone because a bitch stole it. OMG I'm sort of broke and even money deficit. No time for happy holiday. All I see is grumpy nurses all complaining about how tiny my veins are. So the psychos abused them when placing the syringe to suck my damn blood. By 5 days, I got 10 bruises.

And after that, I have to rest at home all the time and pretend I'm healthy as I look. My left abdomen still hurt sometimes. I'm hungry all the time. I must not eat vegetables. I always wake up at about 4-6 AM because the nurses on hospital always woke me up at 5 to check my BP. Suck it up. I'm bored at home but what can I do? I have to save energy for I'm about to work in early August and it is gonna be hard and harsh. So I don't want to be sick. Well it is said that the bacteria will still live in patient's body for years. I don't want the fever coming back when I'm working.

So yes, I have no time laying my head on the beach or tasting a delicious meal or staying in a fine hotel and eat a on a fancy restaurant. My birthday is coming up and I hope to be happy, people. So if you have time for it, please don't ever say nasty things about it. Perhaps my health and heart suck, ooh and my liver as well. But I still have a life. I'm definitely here and aging! HAHA...

Waking Up In Vegas

2009-06-17T20:05:00.003+07:00

Saya lagi pengen beli HP baru pengganti HP lama yang habis dicopet...
HP idaman ini tampaknya sekarang berubah fungsi dari yang sekedar gadget menjadi sebuah kewajiban bagi anak muda Indonesia...
P.S. teman2 saya yang di luar negeri bilang kalo di sana HP sih kalo pake yang juelek banget ya ga ada yang peduli...
Benar, HP idaman tersebut adalah Blackberry Curve 8900 alias Javeline
Blackberry sudah merupakan suatu necessity bagi anak muda Surabaya.
Dan tidak usah dihina2 dan ditolak2 karena Blackberry membantu kita untuk:

Email cepat berkaitan dengan tugas
Pake internet jika tidak bisa online di kampus untuk cari tugas sebab wifinya jeblok
BBM sesama teman ato bahkan dosen untuk tahu sesuatu lebih lanjut
Bisa menggila dengan Facebook di kala sedang bosan menunggu perkuliahan
Bisa senang2 dengan silicon warna warni yang disesuaikan dengan warna baju
Bisa online seharian mencari bahan untuk LBM dengan cepat
Mencari istilah2 aneh langsung pake internet...

What a life!

Nobody Knows

2009-06-12T00:27:00.003+07:00

Money. Fame. Smile. Fake. Dream. Hope. Lose. Relation. Problem. Shine. Fall. Happiness. Falter. Strength. Weakness. Far. Devastated. Slim. Shout. Glow. Wish. Victory. Humiliation. Scar. Heart. Feel. Fraud. Burden. Inferiority. Star. Hatred. Identity. Dreadful. Sin. Calm. Care. Scream. Love.

Nobody Knows
A hundred faces at a time
Nobody Knows
How it would leave a scar
Nobody Knows
It'll let us shine
Nobody Knows
What wishes and dreams turn into
Nobody Knows

Guilty

2009-06-08T01:47:00.001+07:00

Sedang membuka portfolio lama saya dan menemukan beberapa hal mengejutkan seperti betapa saya terlalu banyak berbohong untuk sekedar menjadi Percaya Diri... The truth is I'm not. I can't... So I should probably work on this later on... God forgive me!

You're Not Sorry

2009-06-07T20:27:00.003+07:00

Just so you know
I've always wanted to be grateful
for every single thing
for every moment
for every hours
for every people who passes by
for every chances to fight
for every songs I've listened
for every pain that couldn't subside
for every words I wrote and read
for every disappointment left for me
for tears I have to wipe
for every little piece of happiness you won't let me have
for every sheep I count in my sleep
for every shelter I count on
for every shows that I've watched
for lessons I've learned
for second opinion

But just so you know
you succeed to make me a failure
and even for a sec I am haunted by
You always come around
You told me I have to be happy
but you do it vice versa to yourself

Thank you for making me just the way I am supposed to be
and you're not sorry for what you did
How could I believe you then?

Dedicated to:
people who lose their hope and just want to give up
people who believe they will falter
people who can't even take a glimpse look at the mirror
just to see themselves smile
me

Save Me

2009-06-06T23:49:00.003+07:00

This is the night
When I should look at the computer and start doing my job
This is a night
I am thinking how a line has connected us

I thought you make my life miserable
And you might think I'm a mess myself
I used to think you are better
I used to think I could save you

You are a pain in the ass
The one that makes it deteriorates
I am sorry you're different
I am sorry you don't comprehend

I am a wacky and uncontrollable
I am a heroine of my own version
I am still have to please you
I might not

I have a little faith
Of what I have done before
and you've got to understand
because I am wacky kind of genius

These ties abandoned me for times I don't know
I am longing for a release
Would someone save me
and make me any better?

Until they subside
I'd bring just a piece of happiness myself
I believe that angels sent me you
But I just haven't understood how you could be so cunning

Hermorrage

2009-05-27T07:46:00.002+07:00

Kejadian "lucu" kemarin dan kemarinnya lagi dan kemarinnya lagi:

1. Terjadi entah berapa kali kehilangan kunci, usb, buku dan bbrp hal lain milik orang lain. USB milik Valen, kunci kantor Miss Desi dosen saya, hingga buku-buku milik Valen yang baru saja dibeli.. Anehnya saya bahkan merasa tidak ingat dan tidak sadar apa yang habis saya lakukan. Sepertinya 5-10 menit yang lalu ingatan saya sudah hilang. Aneh kan jika saya tidak menyadarinya?!

Drama kehilangan tersebut:
1. Valen dan saya berangkat dari ruang MD (Miss Desi) ke kelas Strategi Negosiasi pukul 10.30. Saat itu saya *******************************(lupa)... Sekembalinya ke kelas, Miss Desi meminta USB berisi (lupa) itu. Nah, saya bilang "Kan saya sudah kasikan ke MD sebelum kelas" dan kami mencarinya sampe sore dan saya glegar sekali karena itu USB punya Valen. Saya sudah mencari di sudut apapun, termasuk tas saya yang berdasar hitam.
10 menit
20 menit
tidak ngitung
Dan ketika Valen mengecek lagi, USB itu ada di saku tas Rusty abu2 saya itu.... Semua ruangan kemudian mulai menatap seakan2 saya ingin dimakan saja...
Miss Desi : JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Valen: JEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS Guendeng!!!!!! moro2 hape mu itu ndak ilang
dan saya memang sangat tidak ingat jika kejadian itu perlu disimulasikan lagi

2. MD baru saja menguji sidang MKN (Magang Kerja Nyata) dan kembali ke kantornya. Saya yang baru saja datang dan menaruh laptop serta tas dititipin gantungan kunci berbentuk sosis milik MD dari Jecklin. MD pun makan lempernya. Saya menyalakan laptop sambil bertanya dengan polos " MISS ini gantungan sosis mau ditaruh di mana?" Miss Desi: "yaaaaaaaa dikaitkan ke kuncinya lah!" "Lho saya kan ga dipegangi kuncinya miss, saya gak liak kunci dari tadi"...
Dan seruangan glegar semua... Termasuk Jecklin yang bingung AR nya (kumpul jam 12 siang itu).. singkat cerita (karena kalo berlebihan cerita saya ga kerjo2 proposal iki), MD dan saya merogoh2 segala tempat termasuk tas, bungkus lemper yang telah dibuang, dan bawah dudukan Jecklin. Dan 10 menit kemudian, ketika saya merogoh tas merah jerapah saya, kunci itu ternyata ada di saya...
Kali ini yang glegar adalah orang se FB, se Tata Usaha Jurusan, and whatever!!!!

Looks like I suffer something yang mengerikan

A Storm Is Going To Come

2009-05-26T15:55:00.003+07:00

Cuman kangen sama INI:

sejak tidak ada dia, aku menjadi merasa lebih tidak berguna dari sebelumnya
sejak tidak ada dia aku semakin pelupa
sejak tidak ada dia, buyarlah semua konsentrasi dan harga diri
sejak tidak ada dia, kekecewaan-kekecewaan orang lain pada diriku semakin bertambah

Tidak ada satu hari pun tanpa aku merindukan kehadirannya
Tidak ada satu hari pun aku mengingat masa indah bersamanya
Aku lebih dari sekedar butuh, tapi dia adalah sebagian hidupku
dan sejak saat itu hidup terasa jauh lebih melelahkan untuk dijalani
Dengan caraku sendiri, aku hanya bisa mengingat dia

Dia bukan sekedar barang, dia kasih sayang dari orang tua
Dia bukan sekedar bongkahan seperti batu bata, dia lullaby sebelum aku tidur
Dia bukan sekedar alat komunikasi, dia membantuku bernyanyi dan membangunkanku sebelum sekolah
Dia adalah dia
Dan dia menghilang sebelum aku sempat lelah bersamanya dan berkata selamat tinggal

What A Difference A Day Makes part 3

2009-05-24T10:28:00.001+07:00

Today's the day my life begins.
Today I become a citizen of the world.
Today I become a grown up.
Today I become accountable to someone other than myself and my parents.
Accountable for more than my grades.
Today, I become accountable to the world.
To the future.
To all the possibilities that life has to offer.
Starting today, my job is to show up wide eyed and willing and ready.
For what, I don't know.
For anything.
For everything.
To take on life.
To take on love.
To take on the responsibility and possibility.
Today, my friends, our lives begin.
And, I for one can't wait.

Becca - Grey's Anatomy, What A Difference A Day Makes

She Works Hard For The Money

2009-05-24T08:40:00.006+07:00

Just because I don't have Bold, it doesn't mean that I am not bold
Just because there are no money left, it doesn't make me a leftover
I fall apart but don't leave me behind
I said I get over it, but I can't seem to get rid of it

They wore well outfits, classy bags and fine shoes
I just have trashy ones, and I can't barely walk with my own shoes
I am poorly educated as my brain cannot do well for lessons
But I will have to be great, because I later have to work

Millions money they have spent seemed worthless and kinda fun
Yet I don't have money to buy another
And yes father blamed me for what another has done to me
Therefore I am worthless and funny

When I said I need four years time to be done
It is because it isn't enough for me
The day after tomorrow, I have to earn money and get another lessons
So tomorrow I have to be done

Where were you when everything is falling apart?
Trust me it's like losing so much blood and B.P. is dropping
So all we wait is for another one straight line and no beeping in the monitor
Another numbered days you insist me to count
But I just don't want to lay there for now

Another year means that I am blessed
But this year has no good start
But this year ain't over yet
I want to believe it does me any good on the second part

No Boundaries

2009-05-24T08:28:00.002+07:00

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe
You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane
To get to that one thing
When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries

~Kris Allen - No Boundaries~

Sepenggal lirik dari American Idol Winner Song tahun ini...
It's good for keeping your head up...

What's Going On?

2009-05-21T21:30:00.002+07:00

Jika pintar, sebenarnya kita perlu menanyakan apa sih perlunya:

Baju bagus dan banyak
Hape Blackberry serta gadget lain yg mentereng
Gonta-ganti pacar
Nongkrong di cafe ngetop
Makan di resto mahal
Pake baju dan make up merk ternama
"Ngeksis" di mall ke mall di malam minggu padahal ada banyak PR yang perlu diselesaikan

Sayangnya kita memang ternyata tidak pintar2 amat mengalahkan semua kearbitreran. Tidak hanya daftar di atas saja, melainkan hal lain yang sudah dilakukan biasa2 saja padahal sebenarnya mengganggu.

The Way I Are

2009-05-19T20:47:00.001+07:00

Wild Cat says:
I do more Grey's-ing than everybody else, so people should be proud if they are called "Jess the sequel"
Wild Cat says:
HAHAHAHAHA
Wild Cat says:
mboh

Now Or Never part IV

2009-05-19T16:48:00.001+07:00

Callie about George

George. Sweet, kind George, who can't even kill a fly is joining the army to go to Iraq in the middle of a war and you said awesome.

Callie: Hey, I've got a plan to stop George, you in?
Arizona: Stop George from what?
Bailey: Ah, he joined the army. Yes. I'm in.
Arizona: Bailey, I'm talking to you! Why are you trying to stop him?
Callie: Because he joined the army.
Arizona: And?
Callie: And, because he's my ex husband, and I know his mom and I love his mom. And, normally Izzie would
talk sense into him but, she's got cancer, and kind of a bad mental deficit. So, it's on me to stop him.
Arizona: Why would you wanna stop him?
Callie: Because he joined the army. Don't you think that's a problem?
Arizona: I think that's awesome.
Callie: Awesome?

Off I Go

2009-05-18T07:37:00.002+07:00

Teman2 sekalian.
Saya sedang re-launching blog lama saya dengan layout yang baru...
Jika blog ini lebih bercerita yang gloomy2 (dark and twisty),
maka blog saya yang satunya lebih bright and shinny... Artikelnya juga lebih "nggenah"...
Silakan mampir ya...
Baru nanti saya akan buatkan link blogrollnya...
jessicahanafi.blogspot.com

Now Or Never part III

2009-05-17T03:15:00.002+07:00

Did you say it?
I love you
I don't ever want to live without you
You changed my life
Did you say it?

-Meredith Grey, Here's to The Future/Now or Never-

Now Or Never part II

2009-05-17T01:22:00.002+07:00

IZZIE
And so I couldn't remember
my memories reset in fine minutes apart
then you sit, yell, astonished
when it might be all said and done
i woke up with smile
and passed out
painful yet beautiful at most
Do Not Resuscitate
don't ever bring me back
let me go
would you?
although i never thought
i could end up here
like this
I want to remember me
being so close with you
and knowing that you love me
so that is what really saved me
so i know you are the one who catches me
when i fall and surrender
knowing I give up doesn't mean I give myself up
knowing I give up doesn't mean I let you walk away
I wish I could choose you over death
I have wishes and hopes
that shapes me for who I am
when I'm with you

GEORGE
Here I am
Lay still and wait
I wanted to tell you this is me
A shadow for you as always
The one that follows you
not just in daylight
but the most darkest time in night
I wanted to tell you I changed
and I hope we'll be okay
I hope you guys are doing good
Pray for me
As I catch up
I may not feel so alone anymore
I am a doer
I do, and I believe I do better
Please identify so many times
when I shared my tears with you
when I held you close
when I chose you
when you had nothing but me
Love me and remember me
for what we have done together
everyday and every nights
feel me
when you let me go

When two worlds collide
Look me in the eyes
I know we have to survive these
So sacrifice these quiet times
I know what it means
when I'm watching you
place wings and fly away
but I know we're strong
we are doers
I know we don't quit
we are so gonna breathe again
slow and tender we go
it may not be hand in hand
but I am sure
at least
one of us
is surviving
and even if one of us is leaving
by no means
I know at least I know you're my best friend
I've heard you
You've heard me
we are one

Now Or Never part I

2009-05-15T20:11:00.001+07:00

Special two hours Grey's Anatomy Season Finale

You're Not Alone

2009-05-14T18:42:00.005+07:00

Currently loving these songs:

Katy Perry - Waking Up In Vegas

Jordin Sparks - Battlefield

The Veronicas - Untouched

Bosson - What If I

Saosin - You're Not Alone (Piano Version)

The Same Old Story

2009-05-12T20:39:00.004+07:00

Kalo berbicara tentang wanita, selalu identik adalah:

Feeling
Beauty
Cry
Love
Tough
Heart

and so on...

Tetapi, ketika berbicara tentang zaman globalisasi, banyak juga perempuan selalu membicarakan:

baju
sepatu
tas
make up
cowok
uang
jalan2
bahagia jangka pendek
gadget
mewah

Memang dua hal di atas sangat kontras sekali. Tidak tahu kenapa, semuanya boleh jadi bergeser di era serba gila ini. Tidak dapat dipungkiri, saya pun tergiur beberapa temptation di daftar kedua di atas. Namun, yang sekali lagi lupa dipikirkan sebagian wanita, adalah yang di list pertama. Di mana daftar ciri khas wanita tulen itu menjadi suatu yang mestinya tak tergantikan.

Wanita, begitu diucapkan kata itu langsung membentuk konotasi yang indah jika dipikirkan. Sayangnya kelakuan beberapa wanita agaknya membuat dia menjadi kurang indah lagi. Wanita, merupakan seseorang yang diciptakan untuk membantu pria. Membantu juga bukan berarti "pembantu=disuruh-suruh". Sebab tanpa wanita, pria pun tenggelam dalam "pengertian dalam gua mereka sendiri". Ibarat suatu data yang jika disajikan sendirian dalam penelitian, sebagus apapun data itu tak akan ada artinya jika tak ada data pembanding.

Yah, jadi melanturlah omongan kali ini. Kembali lagi!
Saya sendiri ingin lebih berpikir bahwa wanita bukanlah pengemis buat pria.
Wanita justru merupakan seseorang yang menyelamatkan pria.
Ya, di sini mau tak mau memang jika berbicara wanita, pasti ada pria. Jenisnya cuman dua itu sih!
Seringkali, banyak yang terjebak kenyataan wanita haruslah secantik dan semewah mungkin supaya mendapatkan lelaki yang sepadan.
Banyak yang akhirnya menghalalkan segala cara menghancurkan perempuan lain demi tampak lebih berharga di mata orang-orang.

Pada akhirnya, esensi indah itu terkikis dengan seven deadly sins, bahkan lebih!
Ah, saya pun sering seperti itu. Tetapi saya sekarang berpikir lebih realistis daripada sebagian wanita-wanita lain.
Saya tidak ingin berucap bahwa pria merupakan segalanya buat wanita. Dan kita wanita berhak dapat apapun dan harus dapat apapun dari kerja keras pria.
Saya ingin supaya diri saya boleh tidak memikirkan kebahagiaan jangka pendek.
Misalnya kesenangan sehari saja, liburan yang cuman satu-dua bulan saja.

Saya pun percaya, orang yang sukses dapat mengandalkan diri sendiri
Serta dapat percaya pada kemampuan dan mau tidak menggantungkan diri pada orang lain.
Lalu, yang sukses merupakan wanita yang memiliki rencana dan impian untuk masa depannya. Bukan sekedar impian untuk dirinya sendiri, tapi buat ia juga bagikan dengan orang lain.
Kami, wanita, setara dengan para pria.
Bahkan kami lebih dapat mencintai dan lebih dapat mengungkapkan apa yang kami mau jika kami bisa, berbekal perasaan kami yang lebih peka..
Berbekal hati kami yang sering dilukai dan bahkan berbekal keberadaan diri kami yang sering dipertanyakan dan ditertawakan.

Pilot part 2

2009-05-10T08:20:00.003+07:00

I am currently watching:

Lost season 5
Grey's Anatomy season 5
Brothers and Sisters season 3
Desperate Housewives season 5
Heroes season 3 volume 4
Fringe season 1
30 Rock season 1
American Idol season 8

Waiting for:

Damages season 1
True Blood season 1
Mad Men season 1

Postponed:

House MD
CSI NY
Ugly Betty season 2
Gossip Girl season 2
Prison Break season 2

Pilot

2009-05-09T20:39:00.004+07:00

Pilot
Jika Anda adalah penggemar serial barat, dari negara Amerika Serikat terutama, Anda pasti familiar dengan kata PILOT. Pilot merupakan istilah lain dari "episode pertama season pertama" sebuah serial barat. Awalnya, saya memperhatikan hal ini lewat serial favorit saya, Lost. Pada saat itu saya masih menggunakan DVD bajakan sebagai sarana untuk menonton serial kesukaan. Karena DVD bajakan itu sudah merupakan adaptasi dari DVD original, maka memang tampilannya menyerupai aslinya, ada bonus features, dan setiap episode diberi judul.

Awalnya saya mengira Pilot merupakan judul dari episode pertama serial Lost. Hal ini tidak mengherankan, sebab kebetulan atau bukan, episode Lost pertama yang membuat syok adalah scene pilot Oceanic 815 dimakan oleh hewan di hutan. Sekedar intermezzo saja, pilot itu adalah Greg Grunberg yang merupakan karib dari J.J. Abrams, Anda akan menemui Grunberg main sebagai Office Matt Parkman dalam serial Heroes. Namun, ketika menyadari hal yang sama pada serial Desperate Housewives, saya mulai sadar bahwa episode perdana serial barat di sana dinamakan PILOT. Hal ini terjadi ketika saya menonton serial-serial lain, seperti Grey's Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, Prison Break, Ugly Betty, Heroes, Gossip Girl, CSI NY, House MD, hingga yang terbaru Fringe dan 30 Rock.

My Choices
Bagi saya, episode perdana atau PILOT ini merupakan jalan yang paling awal untuk menarik perhatian saya untuk memilih melanjutkan menonton serial atau tidak. Hebatnya, percaya atau tidak saya melanjutkan hampir semua serial yang sudah saya tonton PILOT nya. Yah, paling tidak walau saya tak dapat menonton keseluruhan episode dari seluruh season, saya tetap setia mengikuti jika serian tersebut main di channel TV kabel saya. Kebanyakan saya bahkan mengoleksi seluruh season dan menontonnya dengan setia. Sebut saja Desperate Housewives, Lost, Heroes, Brothers and Sisters, dan Heroes. Sementara serial lain seperti Prison Break, Ugly Betty, dan Gossip Girl memang saya rehatkan sebab jalan ceritanya makin lama makin tidak menyenangkan bagi saya. Walau saya tetap berpendapat Ugly Betty adalah serial yang patut saya tonton selanjutnya.

Serial seperti House MD dan CSI NY, saya ikuti dengan menonton di AXN, channel di Indovision di rumah. Sedangkan CSI Miami, 90210, Supernatural, Ghost Whisperer, Private Practice bagi saya kalah menarik dengan daftar tonton saya yang lain. Sehingga sehabis menonton salah satu episode, saya tak pernah menontonnya kembali. Sekarang, saya menambah daftar tontonan baru untuk hal-hal yang disebut sinetron di Indonesia ini. Saya membeli Fringe, True Blood, Damages, Mad Men, dan 30 Rock. Hingga saat ini saya sudah menyentuh Fringe dan 30 Rock. Kombinasi yang cukup menarik! Fringe adalah serial yang dapat membuat otak lelah dan 30 Rock adalah serial ngocol yang bisa menjadi alternatif jika stres.

It Forces Us!
Berbekal referensi yang baik, yaitu daftar nominasi Golden Globe Awards atau Emmy Awards serta beberapa website luar negeri, saya cukup puas menonton serial-serial dan seringkali terkagum-kagum dengan PILOT yang berhasil mengundang decak kagum, baik penonton luar negeri maupun saya. Kemudian mempersuasi audiens untuk menonton episode berikutnya, bahkan mengundang mereka untuk tidak melewatkan jam tayang serial tersebut di televisi.

My Life and My Only Dreams
Pilihan-pilihan itu seringkali terlalu banyak dan berdesakan dalam pikiran saya. Namun, merupakan salah satu hal yang dapat membuat saya belajar banyak. Banyak pelajaran hidup, nilai-nilai, dan hal-hal hingga bahasa baru yang saya dapatkan berbekal melihat serial televisi. Memang terdengar simpel dan membosankan, bahkan bisa-bisa dikira pekerjaan orang malas. Namun, saya pikir ketergantungan saya terhadap mereka (ya sekarang menonton serial barat seperti candu dan menenangkan hati saya, guilty pleasure), baik juga terkadang.

Ketidakmampuan saya untuk mobile seringkali membuat saya tertinggal film keluaran terbaru, tetapi serial televisi menjadi cara baru bagi saya untuk belajar dan memahami sesuatu yang saya pikir, berbeda. Berbagai genre dan tema unik yang saya pilih, bisa jadi merupakan kosa kata baru bagi kehidupan saya. Bahkan saat ini kecintaan itu berubah menjadi mimpi, atau kalau boleh saya ingin menyebutnya sebagai harapan baru. Ya, saya harap saya bisa menjadi seorang penulis naskah untuk serial barat. Ya! Barat lho, bukan Indonesia. Sehingga mungkin suatu saat nanti saya bisa membagikan sesuatu buat orang lain, seperti ketika saya dihidupkan kembali oleh para creator dengan cerita fiksi yang hanya dapat saya pandangi di layar komputer saya. Sayang, ya!

PS: lagi kesurupan pingin nulis artikel, walau tidak diperiksa lagi pembagian sub judulnya serta bagian dalam (kecuali kata2 bukan indonesia dimiringkan aja).

What A Difference A Day Makes part 2

2009-05-09T18:59:00.005+07:00

That is a special gift from me, a fan.
Come freakin' on, guys!
You finally have a beautiful wedding of yours, yourself!
You'll get through this!

What A Difference A Day Makes

2009-05-09T09:59:00.006+07:00

Meredith: Alex.
Alex: Bailey says Shepherd found another tumor, in Izzie's brain. Did you hear?
Meredith: I heard.
Alex: I just...
Meredith: Alex.
Alex: He doesn't think he's gonna get it out this time. I think... (crying) I think she's gonna die on me. I think she's really gonna die. Ugh! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for a wedding?
Meredith: Well, that's what I came to talk to you about.

Wedding of the year:
Alexander Michael Karev and Isobel Katherine Stevens

Minister: Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Alexander Michael Karev and Isobel Katherine Stevens. This is a sacred right. An ancient right. As Isobel and Alex prepare to join their lives, it is important to understand that everyone present has played a part in shaping their lives. And, will continue to play a vital role in their continuing future. And thus, we are here not only to witness their vows to each other, but to bestow upon them our blessing. And, now the couple will read their vows.
Izzie: Oh, we didn't write anything.
Alex: No, wait. I have something I wanna say. Today's the day my life begins. All my life I've been just me. Just a smart mouth kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you. To our future. To all the possibilities that a marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I'll be ready. For anything. For everything. To take on life, to take on love. To take on possibility and responsibility. Today Izzie Stevens, our life together begins. And I for one can't wait.
Izzie: I love you. (kisses him)
Minister: Ahem, not yet!
Alex: Hurry up!
Minister: By the power vested in me, by god and the state of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Izzie: Now?
Minister: Now.
(Izzie and Alex kiss)

Izzie: Oh Mer, I don't... I don't even know how to... I... thank you.
Meredith: (tears up) Ok, so whose the maid of honor? Me or Cristina?
Izzie: Cristina. Alex, he needs a best man... and he was asking for you.
Meredith: (laughs, trying to hold back the tears) Haha.
Cristina: Oh, so what? I'm leftovers?
Izzie: You tried to save my life. That makes you honorable.

Izzie: You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there's not enough time, because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days. You know?
Denny: I bet you ... you made a beautiful bride.
Izzie: It was a beautiful day.

Alex: Come on. (takes out her hair piece, and some hair comes with it. Izzie touches and pulls more out) Hey, hey, it's okay. It's just hair, you don't need it.
Izzie: It's just gonna keep falling out.
Alex: We'll shave it off. I bet you'd look good bald anyway. Ok? (Izzie starts crying) Hey, stop. You're beautiful. (Alex kisses her)

The Arrival

2009-05-07T20:29:00.008+07:00

So, today I was so exhausted as always.
I decided to open up so-called-long-time-friend after school -< TV series
It is a new series called FRINGE (2008)

So, here I'm so gonna share you few things that I noticed and some information that I seek before.

Who?
Fringe is a 2008 series created by J.J. Abrams, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci.
You might recognize that Abrams is also the creator of one of my favorite series, LOST and Jennifer Garner's ALIAS.
Starring Dawson Creek's Joshua Jackson (Peter Bishop), Anna Torv (Olivia Duhnham), John Noble (Walter Bishop), etc.

What?
Fringe is all about a FBI division based in Boston.
Fringe investigates strange cases and probably be called "above top secret" cases. Fans said that it is a mixed-up of LOST and The X-Files

How?
Fringe's team which is the regular cast and the very main cast gather together to solved the cases.

Why?
Why did I choose Fringe? Well, it is simple. I love American TV Series and I get addicted to it and it is definitely one of my guilty pleasures besides eating and sleeping... So this is one more way to get rid of all things that burden me before..

However, Fringe is new, fresh, smart, unique, unusual and not as famous as HEROES or even GOSSIP GIRL, I guess.

When we talked about the positives, there will always thing which we don't like.
Fringe shows a undeniably gross moving images and stand still pictures, such as person with transparent skin so that you could see his organs inside, or serial killer who does incision on the victim's mouth, or when the victim's eye ball is taken off by the doctor...

Suggestions if you wanna watch:

Don't eat while watching! House, CSI, Grey's has much better portraiture even in their most nasty scenes
Turn down the volume
Don't look closely
If you seek for charming/pretty/hot stars, you won't find it here
Don't watch it unless you like smart and boring talks among scientists and FBI agents
This is not a yay! series and pretty series like Desperate Housewives and the horrible Gossip Girl! So after watch a few episodes you should take a break
Don't suggest your friends to watch this

Come Together

2009-05-06T22:27:00.001+07:00

It reminds me of Season 5 with 3 GUYS and a girl.... But still cannot be compared to previous seasons...

Adam Lambert - Whole Lotta Love -> spt biasa teriak2 tinggi tapi okelah, dibilang best juga dari performance dia
Allison Iraheta - Cry Baby -> sebenarnya bagus, tapi terlalu monoton, lebih bagus I Don't Want To Miss A Thing nya

Duet: Kris Allen and Danny Gokey - Renegade (Chris Daughtry's top 4 performance which led him into bottom 2 and got voted off)-> Danny dibilang lebih oke sama Simon

Kris Allen - Come Together -> Dibilang gak seberapa bagus
Danny Gokey - Dream On -> Sama Simon dibilang nada terakhir2 kayak Friday the 13th... Sangat tidak cocok dengan suaranya
(Carly Smithson and Michael Johns song choices on last year's Beatles Week)

Adam Lambert and Allison Iraheta - Slowride -> duet yang jauh lebih baik daripada Kris/Danny. Tapi tetep Adam Lambert keliatan lebih bagus... Tipe suara rock semua, jadinya cocok...

Result Show besok akan ada CHRIS DAUGHTRY!!!!!!

WOW DEJAVU

And the bottom two is: DANNY GOKEY and ALLISON IRAHETA
VOTED OFF: Allison Iraheta

Uh Oh... Not good at all...

I Don't Give A Damn!

2009-05-04T19:00:00.003+07:00

Target:

Mengusir sifat buruk plegmatis yaitu otak lambat dan terlalu baik sama orang walau dijahati
Menjadi NAZI ala Dr. Miranda Bailey
Membuktikan diri bahwa memang dapat diandalkan
Tidak mengeluh dan menganggap semuanya sebagai pembentukan karakter ampuh
Lulus dengan halal! Sebab sudah mengikuti semua prosedur yang diminta uni, di antaranya TOEFL di atas 500 pada awal kuliah, English I pada semester I, tidak terlambat satu mata kuliah pun hingga saat ini, tidak membebani orang tua karena pake harus SP mahal, hingga saat ini syukurlah IPK masih di atas 3,5, cukup aktif dalam organisasi tanpa meninggalkan kuliah, tidak bekerja dan tidak hamil semasa kuliah yang mungkin khusus bagiku dapat membuyarkan konsentrasi berkuliah karena otak saya lambat, Magang dengan layak dan tidak cepet2an menghabiskan durasi magang (berupa jam) dengan tak bertanggung jawab, Tidak pernah tidak lulus gara2 keteledoran semata yang kalo dipikir2 so silly.
Bisa tidak panik jika situasi terlanjur yang bikin glegar
Belajar mengutarakan pendapat
Stand out!

The Lie

2009-05-04T00:01:00.003+07:00

Today, I feel like I should have a good relaxation.
Well, I was pretty exhausted the previous days
So I decided to watch my 'old-time-friend-called-tv-series'
I chose LOST
Because it has been my favorite series for over the years
I've been missing watching LOST
And so I opened up the case and I watched them on my computer

Well, I was watching LOST marathon
It's 8 episode for just a day!
Gosh!
And I am so freakin' happy as I could catch up the news that I have been following about LOST

About a quick recap, here we go:

CHARACTER UPDATES:
Jack is sober now and he's menaging everyone else to go back to the island
Kate is confused at first, but she said wherever Jack goes, she will come with him. Ben was trying to steal Aaron from her...
Sawyer is still stranded on island and trapped in time travel. Ooh yeah, he thought time travel's a bitch! He's been with Juliet and kinda forgot Kate.
Juliet is comforting everyone else and she has moved into the white side, not grey
Sun is having Ji Yeon and leaving her to go back to the island
Hurley is pretty nuts as usual but he's getting better and I believed he got his craziness by his parents as well
Locke is DEAD and he's coming back. You must've remembered how he believed that miracle happened on the island.
Jin is not dead and his English is way better than before.
Sayid is on Ben's side and he's with other Oceanic Six - back on the island
Daniel Faraday Well, it's pretty clear that he's a mad scientist and it works but he's still can't save Charlotte
Desmond is already with Penny, having a baby girl and he's convinced by Faraday to look for his mother in Oxford
Charlotte can speak Korean and she's dead. Anyway, she spent her childhood on Dharma Initiative. Actually she has just remembered it now.
Miles is the second Sawyer-Hurley
Ben is still a crazy-creepy guy and he's the one who convinced all Oceanic Six for coming back to the island.

THE EIGHT EPISODES THAT I'VE WATCHED:

Because You Left
The Lie
Jughead
The Little Prince
This Place Is Death
316
The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham
LaFleur

KEYWORD OF THIS SEASON:

Time Travel
Island
Lights
Confused
Back
Science
Faith
Ajira Air 316
Crashed
Oceanic Six
Charles Widmore
Dharma Initiative
Dead
Back
Lost

The Way You Look Tonight!

2009-05-03T09:54:00.004+07:00

American Idol Season 8 Top 5 - Rat Pack Night
Adam Lambert - Feeling Good
Danny Gokey - Come Rain or Come Shine
Matt Giraud - My Funny Valentine
Allison Iraheta - Someone to Watch Over Me
Kris Allen - The Way You Look Tonight

3 Katharine McPhee's songs as I remembered (FYI, I am a huge fan of her)
: Come Rain or Come Shine
My Funny Valentine
Someone to Watch Over Me
VOTED OFF: Matt Giraud!

anyway it's still a good top 5... As all the frontrunner of this season is in!
But still I think American Idol has never been flat until this season!
OMG we need improvements or even changes

Try

2009-04-27T22:07:00.003+07:00

Beberapa hari lalu, saya stress berat memikirkan masalah kuliah
All the okay-I-decided-to-drop-out-from-school stuff
or OMG-it's-four-and-a-half-years thought
Unbelievably tiring stuff that I have been through..
Therefore I decided to let go all thoughts which might decay my brain

And then I filled out a Living Social list
When I looked at a category called TV SHOWS
things popped out in my head
as I was thinking about some award-winning-shows

Mad Men
True Blood
Damages
30 Rock

!!!!!

I am so gonna watch them...

Gravity

2009-04-26T16:27:00.007+07:00

My top 5 songs of the day!

I play them over and over again these days.
When I heard these songs it's like I've been losing my Gravity
So I thought, I Love this. The feeling to Save The Empty!
I Try very hard to concentrate on what I have to do
I've constantly asking myself, Am I Still The One who leave out these sheet as blank ones
So Here Comes Goodbye to all the so-called-burden
and then I'm coming to a very relaxing shit as known as rubbish-blogging-time
And I know in the night I have to work my ass off to complete what I have to do

1. Sara Bareilles - Gravity

2. Erin McCarley - Love, Save The Empty

3. Nelly Furtado - Try

4. Daniel Powter - Am I Still The One?

5. Rascal Flatts - Here Comes Goodbye

Can I Have This Dance?

2009-04-26T10:00:00.004+07:00

Good news for Meredith and Derek (of Grey's Anatomy) fans out there...
As we know, Mer-Der is going to have a lovely wedding!
So, tons of fans of GA has made tremendous jobs (including making blogs, sites, picture, countdown, and even gossips!).
And this is a blog that I found and so I share this for you...
dedicated to Mere-Der from fans
pretty sweet blog contains their love journey, remembering on-off relationship, even Izzie's blog (how sweet it is) and precious moments even SGH (Seattle Grace Hospital Guest Book)..
This is my favorite part of this blog...

SNEAK PEEK - SGH Guest Book

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“Hooray! You finally got engaged! You are going to have the most perfect wedding ever and I am so thrilled for you both! Best Wedding EVER! Xoxo”

--Izzie

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“I just want to say that I am so, so honored that you’ve asked me to be in the wedding. After all this time, you finally see me as a sister and… hold on… it’s really hard to type when you’re crying… I just… you know what? I’ll have to come back to this.”

-- Lexie

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“Good luck and stuff. I’d say something else but all this wedding crap kind of skeeves me out. All I ask is that somebody buys Shepherd a box of cereal as a wedding gift. Dude keeps eating mine.”

--Alex

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“I love a wedding! The flowers, the lace, the vows…makes a girl swoon. Now if only the government would legally recognize a marriage between two girls… Not that this should take away from your happy day. Just saying… CONGRATS!”

--Arizona

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“I wasn’t gonna sign this thing. I mean, I signed the last one and look how that ended up. And now that I look at what I just wrote, I’m pretty sure it’s a bad idea to mention the groom’s first marriage in the guestbook for his second. Where’s the “go back” button on this thing?”

--Mark Sloan

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“Okay. I’m back. And I’m not sure what else to say besides YAAAAAAAY. Go wedding! I can’t wait. Soooo excited. Really. Oooh, patient coding, gotta run. P.S. Could I put in an early request for the Electric Slide at the reception? Thanks.”

--Lexie

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“Congrats! And we’re not just saying that cause your our bosses and we want to scrub in on the craniotomy you have scheduled this after noon. Although it’d be cool – to scrub in. Like, really cool.”

--Steve, Megan, & the soon-to-be new addition.

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“Are you taking some time off for the honeymoon by any chance? Maybe… a lot of time off? I’m only asking because I kinda liked being the Chief’s neuro guy when you were off in the woods, so… Anyway. I would simply like to encourage you to take a honeymoon. A really long honeymoon.”

--Shadow Shepherd

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“Hey. Me again. I was just talking to O’Malley (not by choice. I’m stuck in the pit with him today) and – what the hell? He says that you getting married means you’re kicking me and Iz out of the house? Is that true? Cause if so, not cool. Not Fricking Cool."

-- Alex

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“Alex, they can’t kick us out. I have cancer.”

-- Izzie

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“It’s about time. I hope this doesn’t mean you two will turn into some old married couple that stays home and doesn’t hang out at dive bars anymore. I’d hate to lose you two as customers. You’re the only ones who pay your tabs.”

--Joe the Bartender

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“Free food, an open bar at the reception… I’m there! I mean, if I’m in invited. Cause I’d like to be. I’ll bring a nice gift. Or, as nice as I can afford on my salary. Please??”

--Intern Ryan

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“I didn’t know where else to go with this because you either aren’t getting my voice-mails or you’re simply choosing to ignore them, but – I really am pregnant, Derek. It’s yours. And I have a lawyer… HAHAHAHA. I swear, that never gets old. EVER.”

-- Nurse Rose

...........................................................................................................................................................................

““Mer, you couldn’t have found a better match. I am so happy for you. And to Dr. Shepherd, I just wanna say… take care of her. Cause if you don’t, you’ll have to answer to all of us.”

-- George

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“It’s about the hell TIME. Congratulations, you two

-- Bailey

...........................................................................................................................................................................

“This is great. Just… great. One of my top attendings marrying one of my top residents… Our very own Seattle Grace Wedding. I am as happy for you as I could be. And proud, of you both. Does my heart good.”

-- Richard

“P.S. And you’re welcome. For getting Meredith onto the right elevator.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Impressive! Can't wait to see them both walking down the aisle!

Damaged

2009-04-23T21:49:00.004+07:00

If there's a crisis, I don't freeze, I move forward. I get the rest of them to move forward. Because I've seen worse. I've survived worse, and I know they'll survive too. They say I'm all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes me who I am.!

Ingin mengucapkan kalimat itu sesering mungkin...

Walau pertama2 amazed oleh kata2 ini
Aku kembali berpikir, person who said this is not even real!
Bagaimana bisa aku mendalami kata-kata orang yang bahkan ga ada.
Bagaimana aku bisa percaya?

Tapi kupikir2 lagi
Yang bikin itu kan juga orang, I mean a real person actually wrote them down!
So, it's not a big deal

Aku mengenang kebahagiaan2 masa lalu
dan tertawa2 sendiri...
lebih ingin mencoba mengenang hidup...

daripada menangisi keputusasaan tidak berguna
dan membuang waktu
lalu memberikan senyum paling besar di wajah bahagia mereka

ke-dark and twisty-an ku...
menjadi kekuatan yang tak ternilai...
Because I've seen worse
and I've survived worse

I have survived more serious and outrageous experience
A lot!
I did!
Me alone..
With or without a help!
But I actually did!
Bravo me!

That is exactly the way I want to love myself
respect myself for who I am and what I've been through

Before The Worst

2009-04-22T22:49:00.003+07:00

Akhir2 ini aku sedang suka memakai aplikasi menarik di Facebook
yang bernama Living Social...
Sebenarnya sudah lama sih, cuman sekarang kok lagi suka aja
Habis kalo sumpek bisa ngisi apa yang jadi 5 pilihan untuk segala macem
Cuman sekarang berkembang banyak jadi semakin seru ngisinya...
Ada aplikasi top 5 untuk Songs, Albums, Performances, Movies, TV Shows, TV Episodes, Dog Breeds, American Idols, etc!
Seru kan!
Aplikasi ini bisa membuat pengguna Facebook untuk membuat list berisi top 5 apapun yang kita sukai...

Ini sih, ada beberapa daftar yang saya buat... Waktu buat ini sedang dark and twisty...
Asiknya, kategori seru dan judul pilihan yang asik, alias ga itu2 aja...

Jessica Hanafi - Jess feels these TV characters is a fickle but clearly lovable because they shares melancholy feeling which is not a negative feeling at all 1 participants
Jessica Hanafi chose Meredith Grey, Jack Shepard, Cristina Yang, The Walker Family, Kate Austen.

Jessica Hanafi - Jess - I might take these majors someday somewhere 1 participants
Jessica Hanafi chose Script Writting, Creative Writing, American Literature, Nursing, Cinematography.

Jessica Hanafi - Jess thinks these contestants should've been the top 5 of American Idol Season 7 1 participants
Jessica Hanafi chose Carly Smithson, Michael Johns, David Cook, Brooke White, Jason Castro.

Jessica Hanafi - Jess' choices of films that she thinks should won the Oscar 1
participants
Jessica Hanafi chose Atonement, The Reader, Babel, Saving Private Ryan, Gangs of New York.

Jessica Hanafi - Jess adores these cold-hearted characters since they actually are so genuine compares to other boring protagonist leading roles 1 participants
Jessica Hanafi chose Cristina Yang, Dr. Gregory House, sylar, Desperate Housewives - Bree Van de Kamp, Elle Bishop.

Jessica Hanafi - Jess dreams of having at least one of these wonderful outrageous jobs 1 participants
Jessica Hanafi chose Feature Writer, cardiologist/heart surgeon, Neurosurgeon, TV show or movie script writer, Travel Journalist.

Hot Stuff

2009-04-22T21:57:00.002+07:00

American Idol Season 8 Top 7 part II - Disco Fever

Lil Rounds - I'm Every Woman (BURUK dan hanya ngabisin durasi, pake marah2 lg)
Kris Allen - She Works Hard For the Money (penampilan cap top three)
Danny Gokey - September (lagunya familiar dan cukup asik)
Allison Iraheta - Hot Stuff (arrangement keren!)
Adam Lambert - If I Can’t Have You (lagu slow dan keren spt biasanya)
Matt Giraud - Stayin’ Alive (hmmmm BERBAHAYA)
Anoop Desai - Dim All the Lights (so so tapi masuk kategori BERBAHAYA)

Yang Patut Ditendang:
Lil

BOTTOM THREE:
Allison, Anoop, Lil

VOTED OFF:
Lil Rounds

One Day I'll Fly Away

2009-04-20T23:21:00.004+07:00

Status now:

bothering someone else's life
living as a parasite
mumbling
have to study and make a better life, yet she was distracted by how cruel life is
thinking why there is someone who's covered with jealousy all her way
thinking how Izzie should die
thinking why Derek says dark and twisty is a strength
thinking about dropped out from school
thinking when it's all said and done they have to let me go
thinking that melancholic phlegmatic is the most rubbish personalities ever existed if it is plant on a person like me
why she's still blogging and writing rubbish instead of doing school works and write features she's supposed to write
why she's so desperate that herself can barely calm down a little bit and taste happiness
why doesn't she tried to be happy and just fine even for a while
why is it by all the pretending to spread happy lives
thinking why can't she be fine for an hour minimum
why she hasn't make another impact on someone else's life
what is it about all the sudden-desperate thought that's abruptly goes through her mind and she can't block it
thinking that she has to start to be bold and useful to others
thinking that she'll have to survive another day, month, year, decade because her mission in life has not finished yet
praying she'll survive all this and start to think how great life is

Poker Face

2009-04-20T22:09:00.003+07:00

Memang jika dikata gila bukan gila, dikata merana bukan merana juga
Gembel!
Tadi rumahku mati lampu...
Sesaat setelah lagi semangat menulis artikel
Ternyata pet matilah itu komputer beserta dengan seluruh listrik dan lampu rumahku

Ketika ditungguin hampir 20 menit tak nyala juga
Muncullah hal yang telah lama dilupakan (ya gak bisa bilang dilupakan)
Aku berpikir kalo si beloved hape masih ada, yang kulakukan saat itu adalah:
1 mengupdate status FB dan menyumpah karena artikel ku msh belom disimpen
2 menghabiskan waktu untuk mendengarkan musik di dalam gelap
3 membuat playlist baru
4 mengsms teman2 tanpa kesusahan
5 melihat lirik2 lagu
et cetera et cetera

Hiks
Kesedihan itu kembali lagi
Aku jadi berpikir di mana ya dia sekarang
apakah dia baik2 saja...

Eniwei, tun tadi memberikan aku buku menarik
Dreams Book
Isinya tidak ada
AHAHA
Mksdnya itu buku memang dibuat ngisi apa aja yang kamu impikan
Makasih ya Tun
Aku suka karena halamannya banyak

Jadi bisa ditulisin semua cita2ku yang mostly gak bakalan kesampean
Misalnya cita2 meraih gelar PhD utawa S.Ked aja udah seneng
Trus kepingin menjadi penerjemah handal di PBB
Pingin meraih Oscar di usia yang terbilang cukup muda
Pingin juga punya pasangan hidup yang seganteng dan sebaik Hugh Jackman
AHAHAHAHAHA
Cita2 yang bullshit bener

Yah namanya juga impian
Belom tentu kesampean
Tapi aku harap suatu saat hidupku berubah menjadi lebih baik
Ketika melihat beberapa orang di sekitar yang literally jahat tapi dapat hal yang bagus2
Aku jadi berpikir suatu saat diriku yang jahat ini mendapatkan sesuatu yang indah

Aku berharap suatu saat nanti aku berpikir bahwa aku tidak jahat
tidak buruk adanya
aku berharap orang2 bisa berharap padaku
at least that much
Aku berharap memang aku ada karena aku suatu saat memang boleh menjadi berharga buat orang lain
Aku berharap aku merasa aku dapat berharga bagi orang lain

Lesson Learned

2009-04-19T08:07:00.004+07:00

Derek (to Meredith)
If there's a crisis, you don't freeze, you move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse, and you know we'll survive too. You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are.

Ketika banyak yang meragukan ke-dark and twisty-an saya...
Ternyata Derek bilang sama Meredith kalo dark and twisty is a strength
Banyak yang bilang padaku "merana kok bangga!"
Memang tidak selamanya yang buruk itu buruk dan semuanya yang baik itu baik
I am me..

Sekarang waktunya menjadikan si dark and twisty menjadi lebih bermakna
dan membagikan dark and twisty kepada orang lain supaya lebih mereka bright and shiny...
Rupanya perlu juga membuktikan bahwa dark and twisty is a strength
I am me..
So I'd say I Told You So, darlin'!
I have told you so from the beginning
even if you pretend like it already is end!
Because when I started to believe in myself sometimes people is looking for a reason to confuse me.
And I say I told you so!
I have to constantly telling myself so!
Half of the lesson is learned. So how about you?
Are you even that close?

Elevator Love Letter part 2

2009-04-18T22:56:00.001+07:00

Derek: Hey. Come on in. This is a CT of Katie Bryce. 16 year old female, subarachnoid aneurysm.
Meredith: From a fall during rhythmic gymnastics. I remember.
Derek: I remember, it was the first surgery we ever scrubbed in together on. Our first save. Right here is a cerebral cyst. Tough save, but we did it. I kissed you in the stairwell after the surgery. And this right here is where Dr Bailey kicked you out of the surgery, because she caught us in your driveway, in my car. And right here, this is a seven hour craniotomy. You held the clamp the entire time, never flinched. That's when I knew you were gonna be an incredible surgeon. Beth Monroe, made our clinical trial a success by surviving. You talked me into putting her under. That's when I knew I needed you. And this is today, post op head CT of Izzie Stevens. You see that? Right there. Tumor free. Because of you. You got me into the OR. If there's a crisis, you don't freeze, you move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you've seen worse. You've survived worse, and you know we'll survive too. You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are. I'm not gonna get down on one knee, I'm not gonna ask a question. I love you Meredith Grey, and I wanna spend the rest of my life, with you.
Meredith: And I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.

Alex (narrating): Doesn't matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.

Alex (narrating): Surgeons are all messed up. We're butchers, messed up knife happy butchers. We cut people up, we move on. Patients die on our watch, we move on. We cause trauma, we suffer trauma. We don't have time to worry about all the blood and death and crap it really makes us feel.

Stand By Me

2009-04-16T10:05:00.001+07:00

Elevator Love Letter

2009-04-16T09:28:00.005+07:00

Grey's Anatomy Season 5 - Elevator Love Letter

Cristina: I don't think ... I can't handle this after all.
Owen: What, what do you mean, what are you saying?
Cristina: I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. But I'm lying here in your arms, and I'm afraid to fall asleep.

Meredith: I'm engaged.
Cristina: I broke up with Owen.

Cristina: Did her vitals remain stable the entire time?
Meredith: Were there any spikes in her intracranial pressure?
Alex: Was there any residual tumor?
Bailey: Shepherd was able to resect all of the tumor. She'll be in packing view for about an hour. She's fine. Your friend is just fine, no thanks to any of you. Tomorrow, do better!

Richard: What are you all doing out here?
Alex: Waiting for Izzie, Sir. We're waiting.
Richard: You're scared. I'm scared too.

Meredith: I'm worried about you.
Cristina: Meredith.
Meredith: Choking.
Cristina: Stop.
Meredith: It's unacceptable.
Cristina: Back off.
Meredith: Hands around the neck.
Cristina: Ring thrown in your face.

Derek: Ok, clamp. I am ready to... no. Yes, ok. I am ready to buzz the superficial temporal artery. Tenting sutures.
Bailey: There's no rush. You can take your time. Everyone here is on your side.
Swinder: You sure that's gonna hold? With all that friable scar tissue.
Bailey: Dr Swinder! Ah, actually I saw Dr. Shepherd do three different craniotomies last month, each with easily double the amount of friable tissue. They held just fine.
Derek: Next, tenting suture please.

Meredith: Surgery has started.
Cristina: Hey, have they started the surgery yet?
Alex: Yep.
Intern: Dr. Grey, we were wondering did Dr. Stevens' surgery start yet? Or...
Meredith: Keep it moving. No loitering in the OR hallway, that's the rule.
Alex: If they wanna stay, let them stay. People are better than no people.

Callie: Ok, so I get why I haven't been camped out at Izzie's beside holding her hand today, but...
George: We're not talking about this.
Callie: Why not?
George: Maybe it's the fact that I asked Izzie a hundred times what was wrong, and she just ignored me. And then there's the fact that when she actually needed help she trusted Cristina. Of all people!
Callie: And then there's the fact that she's your best friend and she might die on you. There's also that. Come on. We are going to go wait for Izzie. Come on. George! You were my husband and you slept with her. You are the reason that I wished her dead. You owe me this. You can lie to yourself all you want, but I know you. I loved you once, and I know you care if she lives or dies.

Derek: We'll see you soon Dr. Stevens.
Izzie: I hope so.
Bailey: Know so.
Izzie: Dr Bailey if something goes wrong...
Bailey: It wont.
Izzie: The scarf, I made it for you.
Derek: It's a beautiful night to save lives. Let's get started.

Derek: Meredith.
Meredith: What are you doing? You're gonna have to re-scrub.
Derek: I'm not ready.
Meredith: Yes you are.
Derek: I need to know that at least I have you, no matter what happens in there, i need to know. I need you to say yes. I need to know.
Meredith: I can't say yes. Not if agreeing to be with you forever will make it ok if Izzie dies. I can't say yes. I love you, and you can do this. You can do this. I know you can.

Richard: Ah, It's not a good time, he's still scrubbing in.
Meredith: I know, it's just, ah, he should wear this. It's his ferry boat scrub cap. He loves ferry boats.

Callie: I wished Izzie Stevens would die. I wished her dead every day, of every week, for I don't even know how long. I woke up every morning, wishing Izzie Stevens would die, and now... What kind of person wishes someone would die? What kind of doctor wishes, knowing how things happen. What kind of doctor wishes...
Arizona: Are you in here, right now, praying for Izzie to die?
Callie: No. I'm praying for her to live.

Meredith: Hey, How's Izzie?
George: I don't know.
Meredith: How's Izzie?
Cristina: Why?
Meredith: Have you been to see her?
Cristina: No I've been working with Swinder all day.
Alex: What?
Meredith: Have you been to see Izzie?
Alex: No, haven't you?

Richard: Did you talk to Izzie about this yet? Considering you two are basically conceiving a child together today, don't you think you should talk with her about this?
Alex: Look, you said she needed my contribution. Here's my contribution. Whatever.

Alex: The Chief send you in here?
Meredith: Nope. I offered to come in. In case you needed to talk.
Alex: Hah, you think talking will help? You think a dixie cup full of my swimmers will make everything ok? It's crap. This is crap! You just can't go messing with peoples heads like that. Even if she freezes the embryo's do you think, you think we'll get a chance to use them? You think she'll still be here? YOU THINK SHE'LL SURVIVE ALL THIS? You think... I think...She told me... she told me she was seeing a ghost ok. And I'm so used to all the crazy chicks in my life, that I didn't even... I'm a doctor. A DOCTOR! And I didn't even think to... and now she's... this is wrong. This isn't how it's supposed to happen.
Meredith: I know.
Alex: It's crap!
Meredith: I know.
Alex: I hate this.
Meredith: I know.
Alex: This isn't... this isn't how we were supposed... this isn't how I wanted to do this. This isn't how Izzie and I were supposed to make a baby.

Derek: Karev, I just reviewed Izzie's most recent MRI and it doesn't look like the tumors grown since her last scan, so that's good news. Do you have an questions or concerns that you'd like to discuss with me before we brief Izzie?
Alex: Just try keeping her frontal lobe inside her skull this time.

Bailey: Ok, as you know you have stage 4 metastatic melanoma. You have a lot of surgeries, and a lot of procedures lined up for you over the next few weeks.
Richard: We've seen evidence of METS on your liver, so one of those surgeries Dr. Bailey and I will resect them. We also lined up Dr. Parker from OB to harvest as many healthy eggs as she can before you undergo any radiation.
Izzie: Right. Babies.
Bailey: Just leaving the option open for you if you want it.
Derek: But our priority today is to address the temporal lobe METS on your brain. I'm surprised we didn't catch it sooner. This kind of thing can cause headaches, seizures and intense hallucinations. But, hopefully the legion has a clear margin so I can remove it all.

Meredith: You're wearing a turtle neck under your scrubs. It's ugly. Not as ugly as the fact that you hugged him. You hugged him.
Cristina: I get it. I hear you. Lets move on.
Meredith: Turtle necks aren't ok. You're not ok, and your boyfriends not ok.
Alex: Is your boyfriend ok?
Meredith: What?
Cristina: Pardon?
Alex: To be cutting into brains today. Is he ok to be back?
Meredith: Yes. Of course. Derek is fine.
Alex: I was there for his carnage in the OR remember? This isn't just any patient today, this is Izzie.

Meredith: It's me. Cristina! What's going on? Owen's out there upset. Callie was screaming. She said...
Cristina: I'm fine. I'm... I'm fine.
Meredith: OH MY GOD! Your neck. I will kill him! He's...
Cristina: No, no, no. It was a nightmare. He had a nightmare.
Owen: Cristina, please. Is she alright? Meredith, I just need to know that she's alright.
Meredith: No, no, no, no, no, no. Cristina, no!

Falling Slowly

2009-04-15T21:41:00.000+07:00

American Idol Season 8 Top 7
Theme: Movie Night
Mentor : Quentin Tarantino!!!

Adam Lambert -- Born to Be Wild (memang gila)
Matt Giraud -- Have You Ever Loved a Woman (bagus sih, cuman masih jauh sama versi CHRIS D!!)
Allison Iraheta -- I Don't Want To Miss A Thing (lumayan, masih suka versi Cook)
Anoop Desai -- Everything I Do (Mending ini daripada versi Cook )
Lil Rounds -- The Rose (ah gagal total)
Kris Allen -- Falling Slowly (lumayan kok)
Danny Gokey -- Endless Love (sedikit mengecewakan)

Boom Boom Pow!

2009-04-15T16:51:00.002+07:00

Ngomongin hal basi yang belom basi diomongkan
A century ago (berlebihan), beberapa minggu lalu,
kelasku Teknik Presentasi Berita, menampilkan adegan yang kurang layak untuk dipublish

Ya! Dalam acara PRESENTER PREKETEK
Kami semua sekelas mencoba untuk pertama kalinya
membaca berita
layaknya presenter berita news di tipi2
di video!

Lengkap kan sudah!
Yah, bagi yang suka dan yang bisa tentu saja menyenangkan
Tapi bagiku yang parno akan yang namanya berbicara di depan umum
tentu hal ini sudah bisa jadi membuat GLEGAR
seperti ekspresi Marty dan Alex di bawah ini

Namun, ternyata tak hanya sendiri!
Di kelas yang beraneka ragam ini
dapat ditemukan berbagai macam fauna! HAHAHA

ga ga ga
ngawir!

Maksudnya berbagai macam dan tipe cara presentasi berita
ada yang atek adegan ora ketok prompter sehingga mesti ndangak2
ada yang wajahnya lucu digae ndagel
ada yang wajahnya super datar
ada yang wajahnya tegang
ada yang salah take sampe bilang "SEK TA!!"
ada yang keserimpet baca
ada yang senyum2 dan menampilkan wajah peyot di akhir kalimat
ada yang pake acara kayak presenter INSERT SORE

Sudahlah, yang normal cuma seorang teman yang usut punya usut
sudah ikut LPBT (baca: Lomba Presenter Berita Televisi)
dan masuk semifinal
yang normal cuman seorang! HAHAHA....

Eniwei, kita selama sejam hasilnya cuman menertawakan diri sendiri
dan orang lain
HAHAHAHA...
Jadi presenter memang susah sekali!
Belom jadi reporter!
Hayoooo

So Small

2009-04-15T08:10:00.003+07:00

Carrie Underwood - So Small
Today's Inspirational Song

What you got if you ain't got love?
The kind that you just wanna give away
It's okay to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through

I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out
And just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands

And when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole

While you're sitting around thinking 'bout what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

It's Not Me, It's You

2009-04-13T18:41:00.006+07:00

Thousand of proverbs said good thing about love and life
Whatever happens in your life
As long as you have love
Everything will be okay

As far as I know, it isn't as easy as it looks
Life ain't going better for some people
I don't know why, but it happened
through my eyes I see

Back then there was a girl
Everything seemed perfect
Everyone loved and envied her
Vice versa! She found it comfortable in everyone's world

She told her friends to get over guilty feelings
She gave love and get them back easily
She said "Just enjoy your life as God has given to you!"

And then her back is now turned
Everything just seems let herself down
She still is loved
Yet she's numb
Paralyzed by guilty feelings
or everything that I don't even know

What am I supposed to say?
Am I judging?
When I was younger I was a person worse than she is

I was kinda hoping
She would never do this
Because it hurts her
and it pushes me down even more

So the only I thing I could hope for
is that she becomes a person she used to be, at least
I wish she could have a life that she wants
I wish that love conquered it all

The tears may still fall
The rain may covers her tears
But even I, felt the day before this day
is way better and comforting

It might be imperfect, still
but all love that we each give and have,
which God shares
is something that is perfect for life
it is a life that supposed to be ours

I know I don't understand
and I know I probably won't
as I don't even know myself
and I don't even know her
we dont' have to know better
to do better
and to feel better

We are so gonna learn
I know I don't understand me
and even her or you
but this trash-talking idiotic poetry
I will open like a time capsul
and then I hope I will understand
and she will
you will too
yes, someday

-Jess 13/04/2009-
Dedicated to her love ones she missed the most

The Kindness of Strangers Part 1

2009-04-12T20:19:00.006+07:00

The Art of Jack and Kate
~LOST~
Kate Centric

I remember when I first met you
You asked me if I could stitch your wound up
I was joking that
I could throw up on you and you laughed with me

You asked my name even if it's just for icebreaker
And you told me your name's Jack
Hey Jack, my name is Kate..

You were the first people
I knew On an island where we stranded on
Within months I tried to know the island
I tried to know you
As I was scared like everyone else did
you were comforting me
Eventhough you said some words on the opposite

You said that we are already dead
and no one will never find us
But as I learned, I felt I was in heaven
and though I still am afraid
I knew you are facing the same fears with me s
o then I am bold and fearless

One day, you went somewhere place
I am curious and I asked If I could come with you
You forbid me as I insisted on it T
hank you for letting me be safe
But I rather faced a scary outside as long as I'm not further away

I am the one who knew you
When people are lying they don't look me in the eyes
But you did the exact opposite
But the way you loved me
or perhaps the way I loved you
is facing a way too long distance

you were always by my side
but you're not even close
and then another came and
I was hoping I let you down
I know you are
I know you tried to let me be safe and warm
even If you're not with me anymore you push me away to him
Oh! The guilt

Since we were breaking apart
I know you hoped me for a better future
but what if I'm mistaken
what if it's all your ego
what if it wasn't me you tried to hold

So then again
We faced another separation
Now help me to let go all the pain
and the fact that it's too late
and we're way too far behind

I'm still not over you, Jack
I was hoping you said "because I love you" earlier
But I am glad you finally ease my doubt
Still, I wish we could take care for each other
Always, I wish you well
For better for worse
I have always been with you

Kate

Mad World

2009-04-11T08:15:00.006+07:00

Adam Lambert - Mad World

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

Wonderful performance!
Great studio records!
Lovely and meaningful lyrics!
It rhymes our world!

Come Back To Me

2009-04-09T23:00:00.007+07:00

Holding onto memories
Which we each sums up
aren't we?
Just realized how far that was
and how far you all are
Just tasting every bites
and sounding each syllables
even if I should shed my tears

How I missed same old you
Honestly I don't remember you
Hardworking and striving
Tears and smile
You and me

You are the kingdom
and I am the queen

But when it all falls apart
we are just breaking down
I am as sneaky as I thought
and half dead as they wished

Where were you?
Where have you been?
You're not even close

This past 4 months
I miss yesteryears
Please remind me
When I worked through tears
when I just forgot the world
when I am ashamed and all I ever thought was you by my side
when friends mocked me
or forced me
or just lay there and lied to me
or bitchin' about me
about what I cannot do

YOU
Work
Study
Learn
Furious
Numb
Stronger
Fighter
Love
Compassion
Confidence
Thoughts
Bold
Drama Queen

I've been missing you
you are the perfect gun to shoot my fears
you are the shadows to follow me wherever I go
when I just doubt myself

Please Come Back To Me
You can unsee me
But honestly I couldn't live without YOU

I Can't Make You Love Me

2009-04-08T19:28:00.004+07:00

American Idol Top 8 - Songs of Contestants' Birth Years

Danny Gokey - Stand By Me
Kris Allen - All She Wants To Do Is Dance
Lil Rounds - What's Love Got To Do With It
Anoop Desai - True Colors
Adam Lambert - Mad World !!!!!!
Matt Giraud - Part-Time Lover !!!!!!!
Allison Iraheta -- I Can't Make You Love Me !!!!!!!
Scott MacIntyre -- The Search is Over

BOTTOM 3:
Anoop, Scott, Lil

BOTTOM 2:
Anoop, Scott

VOTED OFF:
Scott

NEXT WEEK THEME:
Idol on movies!!!!

Sympathy For The Devil

2009-04-08T09:07:00.003+07:00

Tentunya semua orang yang hidup di dunia ingin bahagia kan?
Mana ada yang pengen bermuram durja saja...
Yang miskin pasti ingin hidup berkecukupan kan?
Yang bodo pengen jadi pinter kan?
Yang mukanya pas-pasan pengen jadi lebih cakep kan?

Tapi masalahnya semua yang bagus2 itu bisa didapat, atau paling tidak ditutupi dengan keahlian yang lebih baik di bidang lain..
Biar kebusukannya tertutupi gitu...
Tapi anehnya
Zaman sekarang masih banyak lho yang kepengen dapat hasil bagus
tanpa pengorbanan
tanpa menderita
tanpa kerja keras

Yah memang sih life itu random...
Tidak semua yang baik akan terjadi pada si anak baik.
Dan tidak semua yang jahat akan terjadi pada si jahat..
Atau mungkin semuanya masih belum dapat kita prediksi selama orang itu belom mati...
(maksudnya sapa tau baru kena batunya setelah tua)...

Tapi bukan berarti kalo life itu random kita juga berhenti berusaha
Kepengen liburan ke luar negeri?
Ya jangan minta duit mama dan papa
Mereka nguli, sedangkan duitnya kita pake buat seneng2....
Kepengen shopping sampe kehabisan darah?
Ya cari cara untuk menabungkan duit jajan....

Hihihihi...
Saya sendiri kepengennya buanyak di dunia ini
Kepengen jalan2 ke luar negeri
Kepengen sekolah yang layak dan sesuai
Ke Bali doank aja kepengen
Kepengen shopping dan gonta ganti baju setiap hari
Kepengen bisa belajar bahasa Inggris
Kepengen beli hape baru yang sesuai dengan minat dan kebutuhan saya

Usaha apa yang saya lakukan?!
Hm...
Kalo usaha sih sedikit sekali
Tapi saya lagi pengen nih berusaha tidak merepotkan mama dan papa
Saya juga kurang mau menggantungkan diri dengan yang namanya pria
Banyak juga lho jaman sekarang yang cari pacar kaya
demi menyenangkan kebutuhan belanja diri sendiri

Yah..
Semua orang juga punya jalan masing2
tidak usah terlalu menjudge
mungkin mereka juga punya tujuan tertentu
yang kadang kita tidak pikirkan
yang penting ya apa yang bener ya dilakukan sendiri lah...

Just The Way You Are

2009-04-04T08:44:00.003+07:00

Sewaktu kecil, ketika ditanyai mengenai cita-cita, saya selalu tidak tahu...
Ketika dipaksa mengisi buku testimonial dari teman2, biasanya saya cuman ngikut... ato mengisi hal2 gak masuk akal untuk dimasukkan ke daftar cita-cita, menjadi pianis misalnya.
Kalo ditanya kalo besar pengen jadi seperti apa, saya selalu dengan standar menjawab "orang yang sukses"..

Setelah dipikir2, gileee...
HYAIYALAH masa ada yang mau jadi orang gak sukses...
Standard amat ya jawabanku dulu...

Tapi sekarang, saya sudah memiliki gambaran dan bayangan mau jadi apa jika saya lulus nanti..
Di tahun ketiga saya di uni ini
(yang berarti sebentar lagi akan mengambil skripsi)
Saya mulai berpikir tentang apa yang akan saya lakukan jika saya lulus nanti...

Dan...
Related to my very own hopes and dreams, saya ingin menjadi penulis di majalah remaja wanita
Jadi saya akan lebih banyak mengulas apa yang dibutuhkan wanita
seperti pengetahuan tentang dunia sekitar, fashion, musik, cerita2 tentang dunia wanita dll.
Kemudian sambil bekerja saya ingin belajar lebih banyak dan menulis lebih banyak...
Belajar lebih banyak di sini dalam artian saya ingin mengenal dunia2 di luar yang saya ketahui sebelumnya..

Kedokteran! Saya ingin meraih pengetahuan banyak tentang kesehatan..
Scriptwriting! Saya ingin menulis dan tidak takut untuk menjadi penulis atau mencoba jadi penulis
Fashion! Saya ingin menjadi orang yang concern dengan penampilan
Buku! Saya ingin lebih banyak membaca buku2 inspirasi
Film! Saya ingin menonton lebih banyak film dan film yang menjadi sumber inspirasi saya setiap saat
Hidup! Saya ingin lebih banyak belajar dari pengalaman hidup yang setiap detiknya bisa memberi saya inspirasi.

Setelah itu setelah mendapat bantingan2, saya akan memulai cerita baru menjadi penulis cerita dan menceritakan banyak cerita hidup ke dalam sebuah cerita baru....

Apa yang telah saya pilih ini sudah selalu menjadi pilihan saya sejak awal
Menjadi bagian di broadcast TV bukan karena bodoh di Corporate Communications
Memilih broadcast TV bukan karena tidak memiliki kreativitas dan hanya bisa jadi kuli (kata orang2)...
Memilih broadcast TV bukan karena ketakutan dengan dosen...
Bukan juga karena sudah patah semangat dan ingin berleha2...
Bukan juga karena nantinya setelah lulus tinggal kawin dan nunut duit suami..

Tapi ingin menuntaskan dan membantu harapan menjadi penulis naskah dan mencari nafkah
Dengan jalan yang seringkali mungkin dianggap remeh orang lain
namun perannya saya pikir juga begitu luas...
menjadi penginspirasi dan menjadi pengingat banyak orang tentang apa yang terjadi
yang kemudian menggambarkannya kembali

Almost Lover

2009-04-04T08:04:00.005+07:00

A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover
(klik untuk donlot lagunya)

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, ever forget
These images

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Liriknya bagus yah!!!
Jadinya cocok dengan saya memikirkan hape...
Ah gak romantis ah...
Nggarai glegar...

You Found Me

2009-04-02T21:52:00.000+07:00

American Idol 8 Top 9 - Popular iTunes Download

Anoop Desai - Caught Up
Megan Joy - Turn Your Lights Down Low
Danny Gokey - What Hurts The Most !!!!!!!!!
Allison Iraheta -- Don't Speak
Scott MacIntyre - Just The Way You Are
Matt Giraud - You Found Me !!!!!!!!!!
Lil Rounds - Surrender
Adam Lambert - Play That Funky Music
Kris Allen - Ain't No Sunshine !!!!!!!!!!!!

Duh eman Alexis sudah ga ada...

BOTTOM THREE:
Allison, Megan, Anoop

BOTTOM TWO:
Anoop, Megan

ELIMINATED :
Megan Joy!

Cry

2009-04-01T21:03:00.003+07:00

Kelly Clarkson - Cry

If anyone asks,
I'll tell them we both just moved on
When people all stare
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk
Whenever I see you,
I'll swallow my pride
and bite my tongue
Pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry

If anyone asks,
I'll tell them we just grew apart
Yeah what do I care
If they believe me or not
Whenever I feel
Your memory is breaking my heart
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry

I'm talking in circles
I'm lying, they know it
Why won't this just all go away

Lagu ini merupakan salah satu lagu fav ku
di album Kelly Clarkson terbaru yang All I Ever Wanted... 
Liriknya simpel tapi mengena...
Melodinya indah
Cara nyanyi nya susah, khas Kelly Clarkson sekali...
Rendah dan normal lalu pada bagian chorusnya tiba2 meninggi dan
kalo kuat nyanyi pun harus teriak2...
Kelly kelly...
Lagunya selalu tidak terjangkau bagian chorus....

Already Gone

2009-03-29T21:03:00.006+07:00

Hari ini
Minggu, 29 Maret 2009
My beloved-irreplaceable one and only cellphone is gone
Nokia N95 8GB
Lebih tepatnya sih DICOPET
Where? Butik (X)SML Senayan City, Jakarta
When? Sekitar pukul 15.20-15.30
Who? Yang nyopet kayaknya aku tau deh
How? Pencopetan itu terjadi setelah satu menit sebelumnya ak menggengam hape yang merupakan setengah hidupku itu..

Jadi ceritanya, ak pergi ke Senayan City untuk beli alas kaki karena sepatuku sudah jebol bagian luarnya.. Aku ngincer sandal wedges di Promod Sency.. Walau harganya 450 ribu, papa dan mama sudah mengizinkan (ini kejadian langka)... Aku sih bilang kalo misalnya aku ga dapet ya sudah gak papa.. Namanya juga pake duit ortu...

Namun, ketika sampe di toko...Sandal yang model begitu dan berukuran 38 sudah habis... Padahal di depan semua manekin masih dipasangi sandal tsb. Jadi yang tersisa cuma ukuran 39 yang kebesaran dan sakit kalau dipakai...

Aku sebal, karena itu sepatu yang menarik dan membuat kakiku tambah panjang saja... Lagian kalo dipake enak juga wedges yang itu... Ak sms mama "Ma, spatune wes ga ada lagi... Mbencekno"...

Tante mengajakku ke TopShop depan Promod... Karena terlanjur bete gara2 hari sebelumnya aku sudah ngincer itu sepatu dan masih ada (sekarang sudah habis), ak cuman sms2 dan liat2 FB lewat HAPE tercinta... Aku pun sempat mengupdate statusku menggunakan si darlin N95...
"yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. sepatuku inceranku hilang sudah" pada 15.19

Kemudian tante mengajak aku ke (X)SML katanya lagi diskon..
Aku sih sudah sepo gara2 sandal itu ga jadi kebeli...
Aku pun sebenernya ga terlalu minat liat2 di toko lain karena ak ga nyari baju...
Aku pun mengantar tante dan sekedar membolak balik gantungan baju...

Toko itu rame sekali karena sedang diskon 50%...
Ketika ak lihat2 di gantungan kemeja, ada yang ndempet aku...
Ak merasa "orang ini kegendutan apa?!"
Trus ak refleks ngecek hapeku dan itu tidak ada....

Sambil mengecek ulang di tas dengan wajah pucat / merah (yah kayak aku pas presentasi itu lho), ak mencoba mencari2 apa ada orang yang mencurigakan...
Aku memutari toko itu dan melihat mbak2 berbaju putih dan maaf sekali berdandan aneh dan noleh2 pas ta ikutin...
Ketika itu ak sadar ada yang tidak beres...
Tapi ak belum mau nuduh sapa2 untuk nyuri
Gimana mau nuduh coba?!

Lalu ada mas2 yang pas ta liatin terus dia curiga...
Nah, ketika itu si mbak tadi juga ngeliatin ak dan dia menunjuk ke lantai
"Mbak ini barangnya ketinggalan ya?"
Aku langsung lega dan sedikit sungkan sudah ngeliatin dia dengan muka curiga
Habis ternyata HAPE ku ada di lantai dan itu JATUH

Mukaku yang memerah masih memerah dan ak langsung pura2 ngeliat gantungan itu lagi
Dan sambil sesekali mengecek keberadaan hapeku...
1 menit setelah yang terakhir kali aku cek, HAPE itu tidak ada di tas ku lagi
Aku langsung menoleh dan melihat si mbak telah pergi...
Dia tidak ada...
Toko pun mendadak sepi dan hanya diramaikan dengan tacik2 yang bingung model mana yang bagus...

Aku yang oon semakin longor dan lambat saja...
Hape tanteku kupinjam dan kutelp lah hapeku
yang kuharap bergetar di tas hitamku
ternyata tidak kunjung bunyi dan bergetar

Ak langsung lemas dan menyadari kebodohanku
aku benar2 telah dicopet
di Jakarta yang angka berbagai kriminalitasnya tinggi ini...

Papaku sudah kutelp dan menawarkan untuk si dia mengembalikan hapeku
dan menawarkan sejumlah uang pengganti
ternyata tidak dibalas
kendati ak dan beberapa kerabat sudah mencoba menghubungi hapeku, yang ada hanyalah ringbacktone
tidak dimatikan
aku juga tidak tau apakah di silent sama dia
yang jelas ketika kutelp
sudah tidak ada saja yang angkat hape itu

Nomer hape itu pun sudah diblokir oleh papaku
Namun, hape seharga 6,5 juta plus bungkus seharga 200 ribu yang dibelikan papaku dengan penuh kasih sayang untuk ultahku ke 20 tahun itu, sudah hilang
Hape ku yang keempat sepanjang hayatku (maksudnya aku jarang2 ganti hape)
Hape ku yang pertama kali hilang
ALREADY GONE
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fotoku 2000an
Contactku 300an
Musikku 156
Podcastku 101
Video ku 10an

Baru siangnya ak sms arek2 JC dan MD
Baru sepuluh menitan sms mama
Baru satu jam yang lalu sms Levina....
Baru 25 menit yang lalu kabari Tun kalo Melon Pan nya ada...
Baru tiga menit update status di FB...
Baru semenit disentuh
and it's ALREADY GONE

Hadiah ulang tahunku hilang sudah
Kenangan2 bersamanya banyak
Hapeku waktu magang di JAKARTA KOTA ENTUT
Hapeku contact2 orang sponsor JC
Hapeku contact2 teman2
Hapeku sms dan foto2 bareng teman2 di manapun
Hapeku wifian di tempat kalo teman2ku telat datang janjian
Hilang
Aku sedih sekali

My irreplaceable hape yang udah semingguan ini kuajak harap2 cemas menanti sesuatu...
Yang semingguan ini merekam perjalananku di Jakarta lewat image
Yang beberapa hari lalu masih bisa upload foto di sini
Yang kubawa tiap malam di Bali dan kupegang erat2
Yang mencatat nama2 penting kenalan2
Yang memuat lirik2 lagu favoritku
Yang menjadi alarm ku kuliah tiap pagi
Yang menjadi pengingat segala rapat dan tugas yang ada
Yang memuat lagu2 nina bobo selama aku kesepian di sini...
Yang dibelikan papa dengan jerih payah yang jika aku beli sendiri nge-MPW sampe lulus pun masih ngutang belinya
Dia
Sudah tidak ada
Memang kabar baik dan kabar buruk silih berganti

Nomor lama masih bisa dipakai karena langsung diblokir
Tapi hape lama akan hilang selama2nya
Selamat jalan hapeku tercinta
You have always been with me
Terima kasih untuk waktu yang singkat namun memorable
Love ya muachhh
Take care...

PS: Lho aku nangis lagi kangen kamu hapeku...

Untouched part 7

2009-03-28T21:47:00.002+07:00

Sabtu, 28 Maret 2009

Hari ini hari pertama di Puncak
Dingin kalo malam
Panas kalo pagi
Hujan kalo siang

Beli baju
duh ak wes ga semangat nulis blas
hiks

The Track Of My Tears

2009-03-28T19:53:00.003+07:00

Kabar baik
dan kabar "meragukan"
datang silih berganti

Ketika yang baik datang
ada kabar baru
yang mengecewakan
tentu saja

Jadi yang terlihat baik
memang tidak selamanya ternyata baik

Saya mendapat kabar
bahwa kelaskudi les inggris, A.S.S. (baca: advanced speaking skills)
benar2 tidak layak mendapat predikat ADVANCE

Yang layak cuman satu orang
temanku
ADUH

Ya memang sih
saya sudah sadar dari awalnya
vocab ku kok terbatas ya
kok ak ga bisa ini ya
ga bisa itu ya
pantes ga sih masuk ADVANCE?

Ternyata memang benar
saya kembali lagi
memang terbukti trashy
LIMITED VOCABULARY IN ENGLISH
astaganaga

ASTAGANAGA
Kapan bisa?!!!
OMG, ak siyoookk (baca shocked)
sebegitu parahnya aku ternyata ya?

Eh, salah2!
Ak sudah sadar kok kalo ak parah
cuman heran aja
beberapa orang menganggap saya ini english goddess
HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Terbeban beratlah sudah

Yang diharapkan ternyata tak bisa diharapkan
Jadinya, there's nothing left here
I'm sorry

SARAN:

Dilarang tanya artinya lirik lagu bahasa inggris kepadaku. Selain saya belum tentu ngerti, mengartikan suatu lirik lagu inggris ke Indonesia akan membuat lirik lagu terkontaminasi dengan perasaan anda yang sering melebih2kan saat mendengar lagu romantis terutama.
Dilarang menganggapku English Goddess
Silakan pretend I couldn't speak English at all, pretend ak illiteracy aja sekalian
Sebelum masuk kelas Inggris berlabel ADVANCE pastikan anda benar2 advance
Jika lulus dari level sebelumnya ngepas, mending minta sama guru anda untuk tidak meluluskan anda, drpd menjadi bulan2an di kelas berikutnya
SPEAKING itu memang salah satu kelemahan didikan bangsa kita, jadi belajarlah untuk tidak grogi saat public speaking. Belajarnya sejak TK ya!
Jangan malu ngobrol bahasa Inggris dengan teman2 atau orang tua. Dan jangan menjadikannya sebagai JOKE dan berbicara "menginggriskan bahasa Indonesia"... Ya I know sometimes tipikal orang Indonesia melihat orang lain berbahasa Inggris pasti dikira sok2an
Jika ada Monday English, bicaralah dengan orang yang capable berbahasa Inggris, jangan dengan orang yang menganggap Monday English equals joke
Bergurulah kepada Cinta Laura

Untouched part 6

2009-03-27T20:57:00.003+07:00

Jumat, 27 Maret 2009

Bangun pagi
ketar ketir
DASAR LELETTT...
Jilid mahal malah lama

Menanti kabar
yang tidak pasti
Ketika jawaban itu ada
Tetap saja tidak pasti
Sulit ya...

Ke Mall Kelapa Gading
Makan sushi
Pesen gila2an
Sushi groove

Balik lagi
cerita2 sama Dina
kelucuan
kegilaan
keburukan
keanehan
keunikan

Ke Senci
Wah ada sepatu wedges
Bagus
Pengen beli
mahal
450ribu
kapan ya beli?

Dapat berita dari Dina
Ada yang mencurigakan
Haizz gimana lagi?
Mau ga mau

Makan Sour Sally
Yoghurt kecut
dengan topping mochi
Rame
Duduk sendiri
menikmati the one and only
Yoghurt hmmm

Pulang
Mendapati Matt G masuk botton two
sialan
Akhirnya Michael Sarver pergi

Menunggu
Berangkat ke somewhere cold
Hm... Dingin...
Puncak soothing place
Ringkes2

Songs For You, Truths For Me

2009-03-26T22:57:00.002+07:00

I think
that life random
but it shouldn't be random

But no matter how random life is
just do, talk, listen, cry, smile anyway

You put your best smile upon your face
But in the end you will falter
Sometimes

You think you do the best
and deserve the best
but others take over your place

You think you all are loved
but everyone laughed at you
not with you

But you hurts beautifully
and this pain in the ass you get
which I do too

Makes us learn how to be imperfect
I am imperfect
and you either
but God is
He is perfect

So we mustn't dare to
question him

Who am I?
Who are you?

Just so you know
We will never know
----------------------------------------------
I love being myself
Even if it's just for a while

I have learnt to see and feel
to touch everything and say something

I strive to be the best
that I can ever be

Do you let me be myself?
Have you ever?

Do you have me taken care of?
Or you just let me see you fail
so that I will follow you into the dark?

You smiled
and I should probably look at you

What can I do?
If these are songs for you
but they are truths for me?

Untouched part 5

2009-03-26T22:20:00.003+07:00

Kamis, 27 Maret 2009

Jam 9
Akhirnya bisa bangun siang
Musik berderap (ah masa sih)
Makan pagi dan berleha2

Ke Pacific Place

Makan siang
Pancious Pancake
Hmm.. Smoked Beef
Minum oreo milkshake
Membeli CD David Foster idaman
Kuputuskan sebagai hadiah bagi om dan tante

Ke Plaza Indonesia
Melihat2 gaya hidup hedonis
Oh beginilah dunia

Ke Toko buku aksara
menemukan buku scriptwriting
untuk animation
ah, salah beli

Pulang
Makan di rumah
Nonton American Idol
Oh tidak ada yang menarik lagi

Untouched part 4

2009-03-26T20:56:00.003+07:00

Rabu, 26 Maret 2009

Bangun pagi setengah tujuh
Barang2 diringkes
Berangkat mengarungi saat dan jarak yang jauh

Dua setengah jam ditempuh
Jakarta oh Jakarta
Welcome to Gading

Menunggu sedikit lama
Makan dadar jagung.. Oops bakwan jagung Oops perkedel jagung
Jakarta memang beda

Aku dan sepupu Levina, De2, jalan2 di Mall Kelapa Gading
Tidak ada yang istimewa
Selain istimewa mahal

Ke Coldstone
Makan eskrim
Seperti orang kampungan
Hmmm.. The Pie Who Loved Me

Menjemput Levina
Di Bandara
Salah terminal
Seharusnya terminal C untuk Air Asia
Kami di terminal A untuk Lion
Sialan

Air Asia terlambat
Kami nunggu satu jam
Dan menyebrang begitu jauh
Kembali ke Gading
begitu lama

Matahari tenggelam
Makan pisang ijo Makassar
Makan malam

Bersiap2 dan ketiduran
Alone
and alienated
and experienced life sentence
Beautiful and torturing

Untouched part 3

2009-03-24T21:53:00.003+07:00

Selasa, 25 Maret 2009

Hari ini aku bangun sedikit lebih siang dibanding kemarin
Aku bangun pukul 05.30
Walau alarm kupasang pukul 06.30

Mendengarkan iringan lagu Big Bang
Hmmm.. Malas bangun pagi
Hari ini saya ke Sency
Dan berencana menghabiskan hari di daerah Senayan

Perjalanan selama satu setengah jam
Mengulang masa lalu
Mules

Rute yang sama
Jalan yang sama
Perasaan yang sama
Lama yang sama
Seharusnya tak perlu seperti itu

Turun di lobby Senayan City, bukan B2
Tempat itu tampak sama dengan yang kutinggalkan setengah tahun yang lalu
Namun, naik ke lantai 17 tidak sama lagi
Lebih mewah
Lebih mbulet

Orang2 yang sama menatapku
"Kamu yang dulu magang di sini ya?"
Beberapa masih mengingat nama saya,
aksen ndeso saya, dan asal saya
"Magang lagi nih?"
--> Engga mas, cuman kelupaan ambil surat yang dulu

Ruangan itu masih sama
Namun pengamanan lebih diperketat
Ingin sekali turun
Melihat lantai itu kini seperti apa?

Kuletakkan barang oleh2 ke resepsionis
"Anak magangnya news kan?"

Perasaan yang sama

----
Aku dan Schon makan di foodcourt
Karena kelaparan
Kami makan takoyaki
dan menu mi ayam di Bakmi GM
Diskon
Mumpung

Dina Ella Pipit belom datang
Ka Butet juga belom
Mereka berdua datang pada saat yang bersamaan

Dina Ella Pipit makan di bawah
Kak Butet memesan steak
Kami pun berbincang
dan mengingat beberapa kebiasaan orang2
Mereka masih sama
Same old stories
I wonder why

Aku membeli buku di Kinokuniya
Revolutionary Road-novel
Benjamin Button-graphic novel

Ak berbelanja di Mitchybell
Mantan tempat pelarian
Sebuah blazer asimetris menarik perhatianku
Rok hi-waist lucu biru putih terlalu pendek

Kami berlima ke ITC Ambassador
Aku lagi2 membeli legging dan hi-waist shocking pink
Harganya lebih manusiawi

Perjalanan pulang tanpa teman2
Lewatlah ke toko DVD
Walaupun sedikit mahal
DVD2 lama masih ada...

Kuambil:

Aku cinta mereka

Untouched part 2

2009-03-24T21:35:00.002+07:00

Selasa, 24 Maret 2009

Hari ini bangun pagi
Setengah lima
Hair dryer tidak ada
Menunggu lama mengeringkan rambut

Berangkat bersama tante
Masih gelap di luar
Satu setengah jam perjalanan
Sudah sedikit terang
Khas jam 7 pagi

Dina, Pipit, Ella telah menunggu
Kami berbincang2
Melihat banyak artis
Ada yang ramah, ada pula yang tidak
Ada yang berkondisi kasihan

Kami menghabiskan waktu tanpa kepastian
Dan kami pun tetap berbincang
Menimbang2 hal yang ada
Sambil memikirkan sesuatu yang lain di sana

Hot chocolate Coffee Bean diseruput
Mendidih di lidah

Siang itu hujan
Siang itu menggelegar

Kelelahan
Kami pun naik taksi
Ke Pondok Indah Mall 2

Kami semua kelaparan
Ella dan aku makan bakmi GM
Pipit dan Dina sudah makan
Sehingga mereka ketemuan dengan orang lain

Kami menonton film
Confession of a shopaholic
Tipikal chick lit
Ketika semua menjadi chaos
Segalanya settle down di akhir

Ah cliché
Tapi jika mengalami seperti itu pun
Aku ingin hasil yang sama
Bahagia di akhir
Walaupun harus berkorban menderita di pertengahan

Untouched

2009-03-22T20:54:00.004+07:00

Hari ini diriku ke Jakarta...
Hari ini pertama kali aku naik pesawat bernama Air Asia..
Hari ini aku melakukan kegoblokan yang konyol...

Setelah packing sepagian dan menyiapkan beberapa barang, aku diantar mama dan papa ke airport...
Aku check in..
Trus naik ke tempat tunggu...

Lima menit berbincang dengan teman2..
Namaku dipanggil "Perhatian2, kepada Ibu Jessica Damayanti Hanafi. Diharap mengambil KTP yang tertinggal di posko utama"....
Ngakaklah teman2ku, Dina dan Pipit...
Sialan... Kok bisa sih KTP ku ketinggalan?
Ternyata jatuhnya pas di pintu exit, pas aku keluar lagi (yang akhirnya terus masuk lagi)..

-----
Saatnya kami boarding..
Keheranan melanda...
Mengapa nama kami tidak dipanggil?
Padahal kami bayar extra 15 ribu untuk memesan kursi..

Kami pun berjalan ke bus untuk naik pesawat...
Dina lebih dulu jalan dan kami berempat tertinggal
Terpaksalah dia naik bus duluan dan sendirian
Kami berempat kepanasan mengantri di lorong menuju pesawat

Ketika masuk pesawat, sudah hampir penuh
Mataku langsung mencari Dina.
Ternyata di sebelahnya yang seharusnya menjadi tempat kami, sudah diisi orang
SIAL

Dina pun sebel
Kami juga
Dina memanggil salah satu pramugari dan meminta pertanggungjawaban
Seharusnya kami yang bayar lebih kan bisa dapat tempat duluan dan tidak sesek2an...
Si pramugari tidak menanggapi keluhan kami dan hanya bilang "kesalahan sistem"..
Dan ketika kami protes sekeluarnya dari pesawat,
kami disuruh ke kantornya di bandara
Dan ternyata kami hanya disuruh kirim email ke kantor
SIAL

----
Kami berpisah
Con pulang ke Mampang
Ella, Pipit, Dina ke A&W makan
Saya dijemput om tante dengan dua adik sepupu

Kami ke Grand Indonesia
Setelah mencari barang2 di Forever 21 yang SALE ternyata jelek2
Tante mengajakku melihat Harvey Nichols, dept store baru di sana
Ini nih dept store paling mahal yg pernah kulihat
Habis, barang yang dijual salah satunya adalah mini dress persis sama yang kulihat di Teen Vogue
Kubalik labelnya dan ternyata 16 juta rupiah harganya, Stella McCartney

Adik2 sudah lapar
Kami makan Pasta de Waruku di daerah makanan2 lantai atas
Di sini dijual beraneka pasta

Saya disarankan memilih set menu
Isinya sup, salad, dan dua porsi mini spagethi
Ternyata porsinya GIANT
Aku tak mampu memakan semuanya

----
Aku pulang
Jalan tidak terlalu macet dan tidak terasa lama seperti dahulu
Aku sampai di rumah
Disambut empat anjing
Peliharaan sodaraku
Dua lama, Juicy dan Miu-Miu
Dua baru, Chloe dan Fluffy

Aku beol
Sambil baca Gogirl!
Aku buka internet
Denger lagu
dan Facebookan
serta ngeblog
Ngeplay lagu

Aku ngantuk
Aku mau tidur...

Aku besok bangun pagi
Meraih hari baru..
Semoga besok ada kepastian
Tidak luntang lantung
dan bisa menjadi hari menyenangkan

Aku ingin memanfaatkan
hari2 ini dengan sebaik2nya
Gak jalan2 tanpa arah

Aku mau cari buku
Aku mau cari CD
Aku mau cari sesuatu

Make Love

2009-03-21T11:29:00.004+07:00

Big Bang - Make Love
Taken from Number 1 Album
I never knew I'd find a love
so true
This one right here, is just for you

Remember that One day
I held your hands then I kissed your lips then I told you
Our love was meant to be and always will forever
Give me that happiness I get from you just being there

I always see you when I close my eyes, you're on my mind
So can't you see, I need you right here wit me, close by my side
This time for sure, Gonna let you know, My love is straight from the heart

Forever you're my girl
Forever be my world
You are the only one
The only one I'll ever need, my life is you and me
Forever you're my girl
Forever be my world
You are the only one
I'll never break your heart "no", so baby don't let go

Even through the hard times
We made it through just fine
When it hurt we put in the work
To show that I'm yours
And that your mine

That's how we got this far
Let's never be apart
Girl, you're my queen
I'm here for you
'Cuz you're my everything

You always make me feel like everyhing's gonna be alright
With the things you do, becuz it's you the real true love of my life
This time for sure, Gonna let you know, My love is straight from the heart

You know I'd walk them miles
climb mountains swith up styles
all I wanna do, is be with you
ain't no matter what, where and how
[right here and now] we can both get down [straight work it out] yeah
like that sound bump 'n grindin' perfect timin'
let's dine and both be proud yeah yeah yeah

gonna take you on a joyride today
me and you stay true never hesitate
to make love ?
you're the only one I'm ever thinkin' of
just to hold you baby I can hardly wait
as we go through the motions damn it's great
to make love ?
we're gonna take it to the end and that's what's up

You are the only one I want to spend my whole life with I know
Anywhere you are, that's where I will call home
So just take my hand and say that you will never let it go
Two hearts always beating as one forever more

I'm nothing without you I'm nothing without you girl
My Love

Love In This Club

2009-03-21T08:31:00.003+07:00

Kemaren adalah hari yang melelahkan dan mostly memorable... Jadi, kemaren hari Jumat yang tidak seharusnya padat itu, dimulai dengan kuliah editing 2...

Editing 2

Kami diajari untuk memanggul kamera segede gambreng puluhan juta dan berat 8 kg... Kami tertawa cekakak2 gara2 asdosnya bilang kami kayak bakul bakpao lah, kodok lah, etc.. Trus dia juga memperagakan kalo lari ngejar liputan ala reporter2 news gimana... HAHAHA kami wes ketakutan jangan2 tes berikutnya disuruh lari HAHAHA.... Tapi kita ternyata disuruh latian panning (menolehkan kanan dan kiri si kamera dengan gerakan smooth) ANGEL...
Trus trakir kami disuruh ngambil angle bawah tanpa ndodok, ngesot ataupun tiarap HAHAHA... Kesulitan saya ternyata adalah tidak mampu mempertahankan ketinggian hehehe...Kata asdosnya, jika saya nyuting muka, lama2 yang disyuting cuma rambutnya tok

Kuliah Tamu Semiotika

Kuliah tamu ini dibawakan oleh Amelia Sidik yang nantinya juga akan menjadi pembicara Journalism Clinic di mana diriku menjadi panitia nya.... Kuliah semio sendiri sudah sangat menarik bagiku... Soalnya membuat habis ngeliat poster, iklan, film, saya jadi bertanya2 sendiri... Trus kuliah tamu ini lebih membahas ke layout majalah... Jadinya kami ketenggengen dan selama 2 jam itu jadinya gak kerasa.... Ah semio memang sulit diikuti tapi menyenangkan...

Syuting presentasi TPB

Karena kami akan off untuk minggu depan (saya, Dina, Ella, Pipit, Anti), kami merencanakan untuk mendokumentasikan presentasi kami mengenai prasyarat presenter yang baik untuk ibu Mega, dosen kami... HADUH, masa ngeliat kamera tok handycam tok, aku tetep blushing.. SIALAN

Les IALF untuk terakhir kali term ini

Kelas A.S.S. (Baca: Advanced Speaking Skills), akan berakhir minggu depan.. Padahal minggu depan saya off.. Duh, perpisahan yang benar2 tidak menyenangkan... Sebelumnya guru kami, Geoff, meninggalkan kelas kami usai task 3 untuk melanglang buana ke negeri lain. Lalu, diganti dengan Pak Phillip yang hobi berbahasa Indo "Apa sih itchu namanya"... Beliau pulalah yang membantu saya untuk promo Journalism Clinic ke Pak Alex yang ternyata tidak dapat deal, tapi gpplah, sudah promo kan!

Ya, ceritanya hari itu giliran saya untuk speech di depan. Dan untuk 1 menit membicarakan bagaimana saya benci public speaking... Untuk 5 menit, saya juga membicarakan tentang topik yang lebih berat, LSF (Lembaga Sensor Film)... Ternyata, guru saya sangat tertarik dengan pembicaraan saya dan menganggap Indonesia memang benar-benar aneh... Jadilah saya ditahan di depan selama hampir 20 menit untuk ditanya2i dan diajak diskusi...

Saya mengucapkan "Thank You very much, see you guys when I see you" dengan perasaan sedih pada pukul 8 malam karena saya harus pulang awal... Saya pun meninggalkan Study Centre dengan perasaan sedikit sedih tidak bisa numpang baca majalah dan fotokopi novel2 untuk dibaca lebih nyaman di rumah sendiri... Yah, saya akan les lagi kalau ada waktu

Ultah Syech Risik

Maap ya teman2 saya meninggalkan les untuk menghadiri ultah temen, kerjanya nanti saja dah... Jadi saya dijemput teman saya: Risky, Levina, dan Alvin untuk pergi makan malam di Loop serta ternyata arek2 ngajak karaoke gila... Setelah berpanas2an di Loop dengan memesan menu pancake, kentang, salad, es coklat untuk saya sendiri, kami ke KOALAOKE...

Di sana kami memesan tempat untuk 2 jam dan mulai menampilkan berbagai genre lagu seperti:

Anak2 (Ita Mira, Kambing Embek2)---> Risik dan alvin yang pilih
Rock (Fall For You, I Dont Love You)
Indonesia (berbagai lagu dari PeterPan, Ello, Mulan, D'Masiv) ---> saya gak tau lagu2 ini mostly
Jay Chou, lagu wajib si Risik
Dugem (Dangerous, Right Now)
Lagu2 normal seperti Drowning nya BSB

Kami juga menuliskan pesan2 gila di sela2 foto2 tempelan gila kami di mana Risik berpose nggilani2...Last but not least, kami menemukan permainan baru : "Perhatian2 ditujukan kepada (nama teman), diharap (isi kegiatan2)"..Dilakukan dengan suara seperti presenter atau car call itu lhoo...
Contoh: Perhatian2, kepada Alvin diharap membayar kepada Risky uang kencing yang ngutang...
Yah, saya kangen dengan tim inti gila ini...

The Climb

2009-03-19T09:06:00.005+07:00

Another inspirational song by Miley Cyrus - The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saya sedang lagi tidak ingin suram lho.. Hebat benoel kan?!
Saya ingin mengisi hidup dengan perasaan yang lebih menyenangkan...
Cara2 yang akan saya lakukan:

Menjadi gila sesaat (baca: main gila)
Mencoba bersenang2 dan mencoba kepribadian sanguin yang menyenangkan dan tidak memikirkan terlalu banyak
Mencoba pengalaman baru dan tidak malu2 (maunya tidak tau malu bahkan HAHAHA)
Mencoba constantly leaving them
Menahan nafsu makan dan berpantang senang (yang ndak mungkin terwujud)
Bermain2 dan menepuk2 punggung anjing baik yang gila ataupun normal
Mencoba kepribadian abnormal tapi tidak retarded
Berbelanja ala tacik2 cerewet asalkan dapat murah dan banyak
Masa bodo dengan perkataan orang lain
Mengisi blog dengan riang gembira tanpa kesuraman
Meninggalkan novel suram yang saat ini sedang dibaca: Eclipse dan The Reader
Mencoba tidak menjadi Meredith Grey yang dark and twisty
Menghargai kekurangan diri sendiri

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

2009-03-18T22:18:00.004+07:00

I'm the one you'll love to HATE
Barusan mengecewakan semua pihak
Barusan iri dengan keberhasilan semu orang lain
Barusan bersikap tidak sabar

I'm the one you'll love to HATE
I have swallowed their words, indeed
For better and for worse
I have done something
which neither of us like

I'm the one you'll love to HATE
I am murdered by neglect
I am dethroned in my own universe
And I took you to my deepest failure and worse mistake than before

I'm the one you'll love to HATE
Because I am me
And you are you

So Small

2009-03-18T17:49:00.001+07:00

American Idol Season 8 Top 11 - Country Week

Michael Sarver - Ain't Going Down (Till The Sun Comes Up)
Allison Iraheta - Blame It On Your Heart
Kris Allen - To Make You Feel My Love
Lil Rounds - Independence Day
Adam Lambert - Ring of Fire
Scott MacIntyre - Wild Angles
Alexis Grace - Jolene
Danny Gokey - Jesus Take the Wheel
Anoop Desai - Always On My Mind
Megan Corkery - Walking After Midnight
Matt Giraud - So Small

Botttom 3
Michael Sarver. Allison Iraheta. Alexis Grace

Bottom 2
Michael Sarver. Alexis Grace

Eliminated
Alexis Grace

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

2009-03-14T00:02:00.005+07:00

Apa jadinya kalo aku berenti kuliah ya?

Itu adalah shoutoutku di WLM yang barusan kuketik...
Bukan mencoba mencari sensasi
Tapi ingin lebih kepada mencari jati diri dan menguji kemampuan

Orang harus S1 itu arbitrer
S1 itu pinter juga arbitrer
Apalagi syarat kerja yang memasukkan S1 dan IP min 2.75 ato 3.00
Lebih arbitrer lagi

Sebenarnya ada beberapa alasan terkait shoutout tersebut:
1. Early dementia yang kurasakan dan way too far behind
2. Banyak kok yang lebih baik, kenapa aku harus ada untuk menyaingi mereka?
3. Tidak sanggup, otak kurang cukup
4. Hanya menyusahkan orang lain saja
5. Apparently, I have swallowed their words

Jika saya putus kuliah:
1. Would you miss me and would you let me go?
---------------IKLAN: SAYA LAGI KEPENGEN FETUCCINI CARBONARA GAK ONOK RASANE DARI PIZZA HUT--------------------------------
2. Apa orang2 benar2 tidak akan kehilangan ya?
3. Apa yang nanti saya lakukan ya di rumah? Apakah saya akan mencari pekerjaan?
4. Apakah mereka akan ingat bahwa saya pernah di sana ya?
5. Apakah saya akan berlanjut terpuruk atau membuktikan bahwa sifat rebelious itu berbuah rezeki?
6. Apakah benar2 saya tidak ditahan untuk keluar ya?
7. Apakah papa dan mama saya masih menganggap saya anak ya?
(HAHAHAHAAAAA)
8. Apakah saya akan menyesalinya ya mengingat sudah enam semester saya masih saja bertahan...
9. Apa yang akan orang2 gosipkan tentang saya ya?
10. Apakah mereka sadar saya out?

River of Life

2009-03-13T23:21:00.002+07:00

These questions was taken from Vanity Fair and destined to Karl Rove, a principal architect of the disastrous presidency of George W. Bush, and he's Republican....
It's fun to take these Qs to be answered...

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Willing to appreciate others in every conditions.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I think I would love to gain more confidence. Because my feelings to be inconvenient with myself often lead me to worse situation like what I’ve experienced til now. For instance, lack of public speaking ability, memorizing something, etc.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Still haven’t found any

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Their willingness to sympathize others, patience, and willing to get a better future by taking good education and choosing suitable career.

Which words ore phrases do you most overuse?

Matek pek, siet, sialan, mateng kon, seriously, OMG!, yopo iki.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Great memorizing ability like Lexopedia and singing!

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

God with His unconditional love

Where would you like to live?

United States, Australia, Italia (Milan), but basically anywhere but here.

What is your favorite occupation?

Cardiothoracic, OB/GYN, Interpreter, Scriptwriter, Director, Producer, Journalist, A-list Model, Singer, Hiphop+Ballet Dancer, Anchor

What is your most treasured possession?

My mobile phone and my laptop

Who are your favorite writers?

J.K. Rowling and Shonda Rimes, Marc Cherry, Debora Cahn, Damon Lindelof (scriptwriters)

Who is your favorite heroes of fiction?

HEROES, lol! Hiro Nakamura, Nathan Petrelli, Claire Bennet, Peter Petrelli and SYLAR

Who is your favorite heroes in real life?

Oprah Winfrey has truly build a great life for some people and encourage us in her own ways.

What do you most value in your friends?

Generosity, appreciation, and patience

What is your most marked characteristic?

SHY and PESSIMISTIC (isn't it obvious)?

How would you like to die?

In a good way when I grow really really old and surrounded by people whom I loved and loves me and when I’m ready to be responsible of what I had done in my life to God. When my vision and mission in my life to others and God is over, when I’m ready…

What is your motto?

The greater thing than the power of the mind is the courage of the heart

What is your greatest extravagance?

Clothes, Food and Drinks, and magazines

What is your greatest fear?

If I’m not good enough for God and everybody. If I’m too pessimistic so that my life will be destroyed by my own bad thoughts …

Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of

2009-03-13T23:15:00.002+07:00

Old posts and old quotes

Quote from LOST season 4 eps 1: The Beginning of The End

Sawyer walks over and joins Locke's side.
Kate: "What are you doing?"
Sawyer: "Same thing I've always done Kate. Surviving."

Quote from House, M.D. season 1 eps Three Stories

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies!"

Quote from Grey's Anatomy:

"Forgive and forget. That’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled… old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we’ll be lucky enough to forget." Meredith Grey.

PYT (Pretty Young Thing)

2009-03-13T23:01:00.004+07:00

American Idol Season 8 Top 13
Michael Jackson Night

Here goes the performances:
Anoop Desai - Beat It
Lil Rounds - The Way You Make Me Feel
Kris Allen - Remember The Time
Matt Giraud - Human Nature
Adam Lambert - Black or White
Jorge Nunez - Never Can Say Goodbye
Scott MacIntyre - Keep The Faith
Danny Gokey - PYT (Pretty young Thing)
Alexis Grace - Dirty Diana
Michael Sarver - You Are Not Alone
Allison Iraheta - Give In To Me
Jasmine Murray - I'll Be There
Megan Joy Corkrey - Rockin Robin

And the result
Bottom 4: Megan Corkrey
Anoop Desai
Jorge Nunez
Jasmine Murray

Eliminated:
Jasmine Murray
Jorge Nunez

Performances on result show:
Kanye West
Kelly Clarkson!!!

Review:
No one impresses me that much
Season 8 is not yet FABULOUS
Some people irritates me quite much
The new regulations is probably going to help this season
There's no IGB for this year

If No One Will Listen

2009-03-13T22:46:00.002+07:00

Taken from TERRA
A Bilingual Anthology from Wordstrom, the NT Writers' Festival

MTC Cronin
Fortune Telling (in song)

How many dead bodies
have unbroken life lines?

Our own hands
refuse to hold us

The journey across the palm
is made in darkness

There is a gust of wind
in the palm

A tree with many
dying branches

The song in our hands
is a quiet one

We sing and sing
and then there's silence

Though we sing we die
when we shouldn't

Because You Left: Krammer vs. Krammer

2009-03-07T18:41:00.006+07:00

Ted Kramer
Joanna Kramer
Billy Kramer
1979

"We built a life together.... If you destroy that, it may be irreparable. Joanna, don't do that, please."

We used to be a small happy family
In our dreams, we had a place for each other
In our hearts, we strive for our very best and we were there

8 years gone and we fell apart
and then you left without me noticing, without me knowing what is wrong, without me understanding that all this years you've been neglected and we were hurt
So this small happy family had turned into a little lame you and me

Our very own Billy, still a little creature
who lost us together, who will lose our moment that we shared together
and the day you went away was the beginning of our end
and because you left, he touched my life
and because you left, you help me understand and my soul is saved
but because you left, his heart was not yet completed by yours

When he fell, I was there
and when he told his story, you've got nothing to say
and then suddenly you came and you changed your mind
You had no right to carry him home, because he's home, with me
You mustn't intoxicate us with your brand new life

"We built a life together.... If you destroy that, it may be irreparable. Joanna, don't do that, please."
I didn't say you fail the most happiness time of your life, our life
We both fail
We both miss our togetherness
and I could never love again

But our son,
It tortures me if I hadn't had him for a while
but I know you'll feel it as well
So whatever happens I let you do, because I knew it would be the best pick
and whatever happens, I'd say "you're terrific!"
and you are

I'll remember you for him
I'll remember you for us both
and I did, I am, and I always will
and he did, he is, and he always will
and I hope you do too, I know you do

Whatever Gets You Through Today

2009-03-07T17:33:00.002+07:00

Wah, sekian lama tidak menggombes di blog kangen juga jadinya...
Pada hari Rabu lalu, kelas Strategi Negosiasi yang saya ikuti (ini mata kuliah pilihan) mengadakan tes kepribadian. Iya, kepribadian yang empat macem itu lho! Sanguin, Kolerik, Melankolis, dan Plegmatis.

Nah, jadi seperti tes kepribadian pada umumnya, kita diberi dua lembar kertas: satu kertas isinya berbagai kata sifat yang kita harus centang sesuai diri kita sendiri dan yang satunya dibuat ngitung semua yang kita centang, masuk kolom kepribadian yang mana...

Singkat cerita, setelah dibacakan, ternyata sudah seperti yang saya duga.. Saya ini melankolis dan plegmatis... Jadi total nilai dalam kolom: Melankolis 23 poin, Plegmatis 13 Poin, Kolerik 3 poin, dan Sanguin 1 poin (kalo tidak salah begitu)....

Jadi orang2 Melankolis itu umumnya gak bisa bahagia karena berstandar tinggi dan perfeksionis, selalu ada yang salah dan selalu ada yang kurang. Ah, saya banget! Selain itu melankolis umumnya selalu mikiri hal-hal gak penting seperti "Kenapa orang2 jahat dan tidak suka sama saya (padahal belom tentu juga)".. Orang melankolis juga selalu merasa tertolak dan tersembunyi ---> untouched gitu kalo istilahnya mau lebih bagus..

Sementara orang2 Plegmatis sangat cinta kedamaian dan berharap tidak masuk dalam feud orang2 sekitar, dia lebih banyak mendengarkan daripada speak up... Kebalikan orang Sanguin... Dan pas ibu dosen bercerita, Plegmatis people digambarkan sebagai "telinga terbuka tapi otak tertutup" AHAHAHA

HAHAHA... Ini adalah kesulitannya...
Kata dosen saya, jika pengen menjadi negosiator handal, semua orang harus mengesampingkan kepribadian mereka, istilahnya dia juga harus menguasai kepribadian lain... Jadi kalo saya ini MelPleg, saya juga harus terkadang menjadi Sanguin dan Kolerik...Kata dosen saya, ini tidaklah sulit, yang sulit itu ya kalo kolerik disuruh jadi plegma ato melan.. Gak bakalan TAHAN HAHAHA.... Bahkan kata dosen saya, riset membuktikan bahwa kolerik paling tahan meneng dalam grup paling lama cuma 15 menit... HAHAHAHA....

Trus dosen saya juga bilang, kalo dari empat karakter ini, tentunya tidak ada yang paling baik, semua ada kekurangan dan kelebihan...

Selama ini saya pun sering berpikir bahwa di antara 4 kepribadian, Sanguin dan Kolerik itu enak, soalnya mereka pasti diperhatikan orang, habis mereka vokal banget sih pikirku....
Sementara itu, melankolis dan plegmatis itu cenderung diam dan terlalu pasif... Yah sayangnya itu adalah kepribadian saya.... Yah, ga tau sih cuma perasaan mungkin ya, saya pikir sang-kol kepribadian yang enak...

Orang2 melankolis sering merasa orang lain tidak mengerti standar dia.... Orang melankolis sering sedih tanpa ada sebab dan sebal tanpa alasan (hari ini contohnya, saya sebal tiba2)....

Eniwei, katanya kepribadian pun bisa berubah, yang ini omongan orang lain lagi... Nah, itu juga tergantung kemauan dan lingkungan juga dapat mempengaruhi lhooo...

Strawberry Swings

2009-03-07T17:17:00.002+07:00

American Idol season 8 - 13 finalists! YES THIRTEEN!

Anoop Desai !!!
Lil Rounds
Kris Allen !!!
Matt Giraud !!!
Adam Lambert !!!
Jorge Nunez !!!
Scott MacIntyre !!!
Danny Gokey !!!
Alexis Grace !!!
Michael Sarver !!!
Allison Iraheta !!!
Jasmine Murray
Megan Corkrey !!!